An Epiphany

An epiphany can be described as an obscure moment of absolute clarity regarding a problem or dilemma that is being faced. It is may be obscure because it can come in any shape or form, at any time and at any place. The weirdest of places as well. Some epiphanies occur after creating the required setting for one to come. Others take course themselves.

As I flew back from my holiday – I felt an epiphany had struck me. This holiday has probably been one of the better decisions in my recent history. The whole two weeks of it (Bahrain & Sri Lanka both). Just underlines the importance of two things. One that everyone should and needs to take some time off. It does them a world of good. And if possible then also take some time to yourself, to gather yourself, talk to yourself and rediscover who you really are underneath all the layers of everyday routine and hard realities of life. The other thing is of course – family. Nice to just slow down everything else and take time to be with your family. Trust me you can never get enough of family. Regardless of whether your entire family is living together or spread out over geography, you simply cannot. In your own way of course – every family being different to each other. Point taken I assume.

Coming back to the epiphany. I feel some parts of me have changed. I definitely do feel fresher. Rejuvenated even (a word that has been the source of much amusement for some people I know over the past few days). I feel like a different person at work – thou the work place seems different from last when I left it but that’s a whole different story and perhaps a blog post some time in the future. And most of all I can feel myself smile. I know that might sound weird but I don’t think I have smiled on the inside in a long time. Longer then I can remember really. I have had a cautious smile perhaps but not this free kind all the way inside my soul, my spirit.

It wasn’t that Bahrain had anything magical about it or Sri Lanka. Both place offered their own positives. Bahrain a nice relaxing time with family and Sri Lanka a peaceful, beautiful solo escape to be by myself. I think the combination did the trick really. And of course our Lord and Creator, Allah. I genuinely think given all that has happened Allah has done something even if it is temporary to sort of balance of my emotional equation. I am very thankful to that and genuinely feel that is one of the major reasons for me to smile. My epiphany. That life is and forever going to move. It will not stop for anything. That it will take from us but also at the same time give us opportunities of greatness. That we must take it by the horns to truly live it. To truly understand it. That there are things that are not worth worrying over and there are those things which require that emotional investment as they are worth it, they are worth the risk. That everything that happens does happen for a reason and that there is indeed a connectivity to everything. Every single moment in life has been preparing me to be at this current moment. There was a connection between all. They all had to be lived to be where I am today. Wherever that may be. I am thankful for where I am today because I know there are those with much more difficult struggles then mine. Mine maybe emotional , for some it is survival. So yes I am very thankful to Allah for everything. I am thankful that He has always given me strength when faced with a loss. And the ability to move on. To move forward. And at the same time for showing new paths, new bridges, new connections that will take me more forward. I feel one such thing from this holiday. Maybe it is true, maybe it isn’t – but at least it has helped me smile.

While most of the things I said above just now may seem cliché , I humbly believe unless you actually come to a point where you feel all of the above one cannot truly understand it. Till then they will remain clichés.

It is in moments like these that one understands that there are more powerful forms of communication and connection out there then just mere words and letters. There is a language beyond the one governed by alphabet alone. It exists in signs, in gestures, in those little things that happen to us in life, those little things that we see happening to others in life, the right moment for a particular song or set of musical notes, the perfect view, the sound of nature, the silence of peace. An absent voice that forms in your head using imagination while talking to someone via text/online. 

One simply cannot underestimate the power of an epiphany. An illuminating realization, a discovery resulting in feelings of elation, awe and wonder.

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Kids are the most reliable source of absolute and pure joy in this world. They can make you smile, melt your heart, give you belly aches of laughter and provide that positive tonic that would otherwise be missing. They are innocent bundles of happiness that are essentially the anti-humans to today’s adult humans. They are everything that this world does otherwise take away from humans in the process of growing up and living.

I feel happier around my nieces and nephews. All at different ages and stages. From their antics at discovering they can walk to their first words to their little childhood hero obsessions and fantasies. Their imaginations can run wild with creativity. And to top it off today’s kids are much more tech savvy then me and my generation. We didn’t have as many gadgets back then either but still. That adds even more to the variety of antics, questions, discoveries and evolution. And it keeps getting better and better. One is in the midst of learning to walk independently. One is a little ball of infinite energy (MashAllah) and a chatterbox. The eldest is making up jokes and stories and well deciding things on his own pretty much. And then there is his younger sibling who loves his food and is in the phase of forming sentences and on the verge of having conversations. They are all my separate little bundles of joy. Without them the last 4 years of my life would have been emptier.

And that’s what kids and children do. They bring with them such unconditional love and happiness, one which cannot be replaced by any other kind. Yes they are loud, don’t listen at times and can be mischievous and  trouble making but hey – that’s what they are supposed to do. That however is something that I have always been told is a view that is the luxury of uncles, aunts and grandparents (basically anyone who isn’t directly responsible for the required disciplining of children i.e. anyone apart from parents and perhaps to an extent teachers :p). While I have had the pleasure of seeing all of my niece and nephews grow up more or less in front of my eyes there are some of my friends who are now discovering parenthood and getting that full time blast of everything that kids bring with them. From the late night howlers to the innocent faces that are made after doing something they are not supposed to. Oh and if they already have siblings – watch out, kids are capable of being some of the most jealous creatures on earth. More than buffoon headed meat jockeys and crazy, insecure and obsessive girlfriends. I remember my eldest nephew was very excited about getting a younger sibling. Till he realized that all the attention that he used to get all to himself was getting split after which point he decided that no no – this is to be corrected. And well the rest is everyday life of young children :). ( I am guessing a couple of people reading this are getting ready to dish out some babysitter duties to me soon – ‘yes yes , everyday life of young children … please handle’). 

If you have any kids or children in your life (yours or anyone else’s) make sure you take them on as many ice cream trips, park trips, have as many play times, story times etc with them as you can. They will outgrow you sooner than you think. Or well actually in a less harsh way – they will outgrow all these activities much sooner than you think.