RenegadeX #1 : The Beggining Part 1

Aah , the wind is out tonight, fast and cold. I can see over my shoulders , towards those woeful yet satanic eyes.. just looking at me, as if waiting for me to slip. I look ahead, and all i can see is the twisting trees with there night like monster silhoutes , just waiting for me to pass and then slice me up in 2.

Then all sense of reality comes, and I realize there are the nerds behind my shoulder, and up ahead are the classic, ‘bad boys and girls’ , just looking for a way to start a ‘war of the words’.  I just walk past them. Its all part of the day’s plans for me. I know it will all end , this normality sooner then later. As I drift along the corridor of the main building at the Trinity Campus, the mosst noticable of groups, affiliations or people who fall under the same category name if you like. There are your rockers. The rockers, with their heavy guitars, long hair, goatees and beards. The rockers in their semi circle putting out throught their tools, the music that is in their heads. Their philosphy, through their music. It sounds good at times.
I walk a little ahead , and there come the people best descriebed as the ‘pretenders’. Yes , the pretenders. The collection of some of the most notoriously superficial, egoistic, narcisitic people in the college trying to maintain to their best a superficial group. Brilliant dynamics they must have.
I walk and walk ahead towards the main building, and there are on the way the jocks, the players, the dopers, the nerds and the geeks and the what nots. Even the cheerleaders. The cheerleaders are essentially the same as the pretenders. But slightly more peppy.
Pretty soon , they all forget all of that , and dissappear to their scheduled classes. Well not all of them, some of them anyway. The rest pretty much do the same as they usually do, stay on the campus and try to get a life. Best of luck with that, you jackasses.
After the college is over with its , ‘Prices for hikers’ philosphy, and i dont mean in the teaching sense, my real world can come to play. The night will come, my time will come, and the city will be my giant play ground. Brilliant. I can almost sense the undead knockin at my consciounce. Soon.
Oh, by the way, this isn’t going to be about the rockers or the dopers or the jocks or the nerds. Nor the peppy , ready for sex cheerleaders. Nah, that was all just part of the boring part of life. There’s also me. Brad, just Brad. But not at night, the night is for the renegade…..


A feeling all too familiar

I sit here , in a cold silent room. I dont know where i am, but still guide you there. I cant tell you what i am doing or thinking, but probably show you. I am in a whirlwind of not knowing all this associated with me. Yet still being able to tell about them. Its strange isnt it.
I wish i could tackle the future ahead of me. I know i cant thou. I wish i would have stuck to listening to my brain for once and … well truly ignoring the forbidden organ. (i mean the heart) . No .. instead its always a better idea , as decided by the fates, that i do exactly the opposite. And now look where it got me, sitting in a cold silent room not knowing what i am doing or thinking or where i am. Not knowing only on a level associated with myself.

Thought it would be different this time. Thought i could have gotten away with it. Thought i could finally have been on top of that beautiful balancing pole on that very unbalanced apple cart , without it tipping. I say that to get the gravity of the rarity into your imagination as you read.

I know, the morning is about to come up and soon the last of my dejected sanity will give in to sheer willful exhaustion of the mindset. The last trounce of emotional feeling is about to go down into the pitfalls of twists. I know , i make not much sense. Nor that i have used this time for much use, except for that which i have endured not once but according to some a trillion times before. YEt i keep walking back to that cold silent room. and wait. and wait and wait and wait and wait.

The Circus that is PCB

Its been one hell of a booming year for the chaps at Lahore hasn’t it. I mean its been all there. A normal first half of the season followed by one of the most controversial second half’s of the season that i have known it to go through. Everything was there. Ball Tamperings , Post Lunch Protests in the UK, Court Cases with Umpires, Charimans going, Turmoil in Team Management, DOPING, Bans being imposed, Bans being removed, Baller not being taken , then baller being taken. Oh yea and also having a player achieve 2 to 3 world records for one calendar year, but we could probably forget that.

With the world cup coming, those are but a few of things that have occured in this calnedar year for the PCB. It has been a tough time to actually support our team during all of this. I think the only thing keeping that support alive was the brilliant, extraordinary and sensational season of M. Yousaf. Apart from that , the way PCB has chosen to handle the entire Doping incident is beyond me. They started off on the right note, all said and done, doping is doping and no matter how important the inclusion of M. Asif and Shoaib Akhtar might be for our chances in South Africa or for the big one in the Carribbean, it should have been carried on with. It would definitely , atleast for any fan like me, be a very joyful win if we do manage something knowing that we managed it with players who should have been banned. Then apart from that, we have a Chairman at the moment who i am sorry to say is nothing short of a nut case. I would quite readily put down Waqar Younis as one of the reasons that this year some of Pakistan’s young guns are improved. Umar Gul is one of the best examples. Yet he has been disgracefully let go off. Bob Woolmer , has been nothing but a huge ass waste. And instead It is Waqar who got that treatment. Highly Questionable actions of the Chairman i must say. And what a mysterious U-Turn on Mushtaq Ahmed ? … Its unbelievable.  

I would write more and more about this… but i think you all get the theme of wat i am trying to say. All in all … its a bloody Circus. The circus that is PCB

The End of an Era

Hmm … life … just seems to fly doesnt it. The moment you are not watchful of it .. it just whoooshes by. Its at that point in time .. all the little things really start to hit you. Whether they are from the past, the present or to come in the future. They just hit you. The realization at times becomes overwhelming … and at others … well you just plain look forward to whats next. This is ofcourse heavily influnced by your past and present. Anyway thats not the point here. The point is .. i had that realization a few weeks ago, it started a whole chain of thoughts in me. Mostly this thought chain was pointing only at one thing for me. Things are going to change , and pretty soon , and pretty much. For me as i thought about it all, it boiled down to one thing, that one major change. In about a year and a half, God Willing, i will no longer be a student. My student life of all these years , will come to and end. Thus the title , the end of an Era. I know it sounds a bit dramatized but hey .. what the heck.

As i sit here tonight, i am bound to look back at this era. Lets start with where this era actually became significant for me. Inter, before that, well us army people shift a lot so no sense of that there era thing whatsoever. anyway… my inter life was like , a memorable time, people can refer to an earlier post of mine titled ‘Any Given Monday’. They can get an idea of what it was like. I mean sure we used to curse that system and everything, but i miss the good old days of being in uniforms, from the same class, section, haaarraaaam paaayaaan! There were a lot of things associated with that, Bunkings of class, going a lot to board basin for halwa puri kay naashtay (although in all honesty especially to taimoor , i did that comparitvely a lot less) , the taking of short leave from the VP and legitimately playing hookey from college with hassan sticking close behind me. While the rest remain content with tapping over the wall. The first relationships, the first bad habits, the first time all nighters on the streets (aali’s alleged night spend at home). Ahh yeaa , those were the days. I seriously could never have imagined at that point in time how much i would miss having such a low level of responsibility then. Being so carefree that its not even funny. Well that was more or less the first half of the Era. IT also involved a lot of always arranging for getting dropped here and there as Most of us didnt drive back then. Also the forbidden W-21. Shit dude…. those were the days seriously. I also inntroduced you gyz to the world of CS!

Now we come to the second half of the era. I never got that friendship level at my university which i still have and got from my inter days. I seriously am sane right now ccuz i still have those crazy inter buddies of mine to hang out with. ANyway, the university life that is now coming towards its end , another year and a half maybe, did bring some memories of its own thou. Both , bitter and good.  It did bring one good friendship, 1 endship!, 1 miserableship and well 2 barships. I will not go on to explain these , just take them as they are make whatever you must of them. It brought a huge sense of responsibility upon me. I grew. At the same time the level of crazy i could go to increased with the added flavor of having a car and not being transport dependent. There are the night spends so many of them , with taimoor, mobeen, hassan and ofcourse my dear easily bored and then dangerous cousin, wiseman. It brought memories of being incharge of projects and societys and that work you do. I mean you may curse it at that point in time as much as you want, but the feeling of having done stuff like that i mean arranging seminars and events and weeklong events involving fairs and all, is an expreience of its own. GIK will always be memorable. I was one of the ppl treated like royalty for that one sunday in GIK majorly thanks to our hilaorioous play. The being knwon in college in the latter semesters as a guy who can entertain with the guitar. The time we went for the Zenith recording. My brothers weddings took place in this latter era as well. There are just so many things. I simply cannot put them all down here. All in all, miseries, bundles of joy, mountains of crazy eveerything, everything, in this era… i will miss. I know it simply wont be the same once i am no longer a student. I will miss these days. I will miss these times.

Any Given Monday

Hey i thought since this is my blog, this should definitely grace it. I mean… cmon .. reading this still brings back the crack me up type memories 

ANy Given Monday from XII-C’s point of view

ITs 7:30 in the morning. Any given monday at this time… the following is what would follow if u wud care drop by bahria college sometime in the year 2002 ….Under the porch of the boys wing ….. sumtimes half out of it … sumtimes not ….. pretendin really hard to look like hez doin duty would be Shiraz a.k.a the king 😛 ….. although he aint there for the duty….. he has his own reasons. Well … give or take about 2 mins from this … and the buses of bahria start coming in ….. the first one … bringin our beloved….. old …… VP …. and ofcourse… the extrememly nice sir naqi ….. the humungously idiotic… sir jaraar …. and etc etc. Than there is the big bus which brings … Saad….. and ofcourse that one and only … Taimoor a.k.a avril ….. hehe….. and inbetween … the other spiritful people of our beloved destructive class… like our pyaaray motooo Azm ud Din …. and Rizwaan…. and …. ofcourse …good old horny Awais ….hehe….. yea… Awais with his peculiar look in the morning… alwasy coming up to shiraz .. putting his hand forward. … and whispering in his ear…. ‘Woh aaiy thee kiya?’ ….hehe …. and by now the last of the buses would also have come ….. with our dear … MObeen ‘Curly’-ur-Rehman … and Hassan Silence Ibrahim….oh
boy those “gyz”… hehe :P… after…. that … when almost everyone of any significance has come …n well… shiraz’s reasons are also met with …. there comes … half asleep …. having absolutely no idea…. as to where he is ….. Taha ‘gulabo’ Khan Durrani.. WEll … now that everyone is in … its time for the morning assembly …. some students come….. … well … start our day with a Soorat ….and than some other kids waste our time with ….”Facts” and “Thought of the Day” … which in hindsight doesnt even deserve to be an afterthought
… mind you. Anyway when thats done …. and the assembly is over … everyone is in the class…. we wait for our …. Corny …. ‘Poblematic’ …. Class Teacher Sir Khalid to take our attendance…..”Shiraaz” … pause … “Farhan” …. pause…..”Taha”..”Taimoor..Zahid” ……and than taimoor after givin him a bunch load of galiyas goes upto say…”Nahi sir aaj may ayaa hun” … hehe 😛 …. And now to get onnn with our Maths period …..”Yeh Issss main Bio walay chalay jaain” …. would echo through the class…. the first period usually gets along dragingly …. and ofcourse filled with Sir Khalid …a.k.a Fuck Kilmer … corny jokes. Anyway … than comes the second period … everyone is seated …talkin … not payin the slightest attention to the board…. oh wait thats rite … its the Urdu period… Sir Naqi just goes on and on with hardly one or two students listening to him… the rest .. well …
talkin … und shund and all …Awais takin out his rappy … horny …. voices… hehe … MObeen tryin to study as well as talk …..Hassan … enjoyin Awais’s antics …. Taimoor laughing his head off….Gul and Shahjahan tryin to be a part of it all ….Abdullah and Ghazali….. well ….basically doin exactly wat it is they do….Taha completing his chem work …. Shiraz eating half his lunch while also tryin to find a suitable candidate for the other half….. and ofcourse … Ismail….SLEEPING…. hehe …well thats over …. than comes physics …. Sir Adnan comes in. First calls Shiraz to come ahead …. who seems to be the only who lissens with complete concentration what he is sayin . Sir Adnan tryin hard for everyone to lissen to him…. but … well ..mostly to no availl …hehe. Thats gone … than there is … Chemistry .. and Computer …. SHiraz leeves… along with the ever sleeping Ismail … the always lissening to Preeto Shahid… Tanveer … and ofcourse…. Prof . Asad Malik . Back in the class its Sir Khurram Shairs … period .. of chemistry … the only seemingly educational class in the entire college section. After that comes the recess …. everyone first rushes to the canteen which one wud think is a mini branch office of Wall Street ….. gettin out from there … everyone makes there way to the ground… the sash holders after avoiding Junaid “IN love with College” DCC. Break passes with und shund
… gup shup … hansi mazak …. troubles woubles… etc .. than 5th period also belongs … to chem …after that 6th … is …OH yeaaa Sir Anees ….another nice item of our college …. Well his period is chaotic too …. nobody lissens to him ….. he just goes on and on … “Apnay Registers Nikalo!!” …Shiraz takes out register alrite… but not for pakstudies… but instead for ritin sumthin of the other …. and usually ends up writin yet another poem… 😐 . The rest .. just keep talkin .. havin fun …somewhat like the urdu period… Than there is IT …
sir Faisal Khan …. in which well .. there is talk… as well as study….and takain shakain between Faisal … Taha … and sumtimes Shiraz … than in the last there is english .. where there used to be…. the humungously idiotic … sir jaraar …. with his …”Basically this paragraph explains what is written in it “…..and ” Kiyaaan haiiin yai!!!>…..Azm-Ud-Din ur the best ….” … and now more recently … the … umm …well … sumthin seriously wrong
with mental health Miss Nadia … for whom we turn of our fans …so that we can hear her … 😛 . Thisperiod … well sumtimes is productive… and sumtimes is not . After that comes the chuti … in which the prefects go for their duties .. including Shiraz …Taha …. Hassan … GUl. .. etc etc . Azm catching up with Taha and Shiraz … and sayin “Aur JIGAR …kiya haal hain !… kal kaa cricket kaa match dekhaa…. and blah blah blah blah!..” And of all the ppl to be outside there is Sir Sadiq sayin to us “Shirrraz sleeves to sahi kar lo …. and Tahaaa meraa betaa baal katwaa lo… aur Mobeen kahan hain … uss nay bell nahi sahi ki!…” … ajeeb khota..loser…..neway ….After all the classes are out after the chuti bell. Everone gets out …. Shiraz doning his ineveitable Red CAp. And everyone is decidin which
side to be at for chuti … the bazaari side .. aur the bus side…. as much as he wants to be at the bus side … He eventually goes with the others … to leeve taha at his van …. yea…. Qadri Bhai ki Variety program VaN!…. hehe …and than the buses roll …everyone goes back home …Taimoor in his big BUs along with saad and that freee loader … Awais
…and hassan shiraz and mobeen … in their van …the mighty SHaamons bus …. being vasly entertained by …MEntal … Taha SIddiqi… The Sir … and the Miss.!!!! ..

Maaaan…. i dunno if any of u find this interestin
… but i just wrote that … cuz i am gonna miss…
this man … … heh…:)

Welcome to the Wrong Zone

Welcome all , to The Wrong Zone. Just to give you a feeler of what all is to is a little something to get you started. The perspective of life…

‘ What a life we all lead as humans. We all come from different paths of life. Life is what we cherish the most and yet life is the first thing we dont understand, not one bit. Tooting from this we search for other things we can actually hope to find an answer to. In all our infinite wisdom we go deep into the far reaches of the universe, the world, Mother Nature; basically everything and find answers for all of them. We look to our past, name it history, ancient history even and viola you have 2 billion years of infinite findings to play around with and enough to distract you for a long time to come. All the while what we dont understand is that we really arent looking or searching for any of the above mentioned , but rather life. Subconciously we hope that somewhere in all the jumblings and the HOO HAA’s and the mysteries of the different sciences and worlds there is indeed an answer to life, perhaps there is some meaning to it. This lack of knowledge makes us all insecure, deep within the embodiment of our brain. Even the concept of love is all for this infinite soul searching quest of ours. Just look at the concept of Yin and Yang as in coming together and being completed by the other person. Rather your better half. This concept of being complete, being whole is what everyone is really wanting i.e. to be complete and whole is to have and know everything interrelated and thus one thing connecting to another just might have an answer to life.

The entire population is a product of our deranged imagination.  (from Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Book series)