Change. One of the most consistent truth’s for this world , for this life. Second perhaps only to death. It happens on a daily basis. Almost everyone goes through some change in their life, at least those of us who are 15 plus. I am sure there are those who have gone through change prior to that age also but 15 plus would be a safe estimate. Change in circumstances, change in life’s great plans, change in future plans, change in occupation, change in education, change in what one wants tobecome, change in emotional setup. Change, change, change. We get to deal with some sort of change every now and then. Some changes affect us in who we are. It is but natural. Depending on the nature of the change and hence ‘life changing event’.
Invariably death is one of the most leading factors for change. Or so I feel. Maybe for some of us in the higher echelons of power it could be the Political landscape of the country or legal circumstances more so then death but I feel for the more common of us – death. Death of a closed one certainly has it’s impact. Emotions are beyond drained, life seems to develop a big gaping hole and then the manner in which it tends to move on (drainage and holes in tow). I know (and some of those who know me well would agree) that after my Father passed away 4 years back there definitely some changes in my personality. I can’t say any of them were deliberate or they fundamentally transformed me into someone else but yes difference there was. The same can be said of my divorce and grandmother’s passing (the one I was lucky enough to spend the most time with in my life). And now with my mother passing away – yet again.
The thing about all of these in my life is that they all happened in the last 4 years. I am not saying this to gather any sympathy votes but the fact of the matter is that it has really been one thing after the other. And I just mentioned the emotionally jarring events. The 4 years also did consist of some work related issues and frustrations of course minor compared to the above. But they were there all of them.
So much packed in the last 4 years has changed a few things in me, for me, around me. Change has certainly been a part and parcel in the last 4 years. Good thing is or so my faith reinforces that our Creator only gives that much to us which we are capable of taking. Life’s great journey does demand testing of our will, our inner and moral strength and our faith but again only that much that we can take. That we have the ability to take. We are tested by Allah and Allah created us so there is definitely enough inside us to be able to handle. So yes change – but change that we can take, that we can get along with. Not change that would bring us to a standstill.
Emotional experiences creating such changes are often difficult to consume. It takes time for us to get to our healing process. But time heals. Time brings out that inner capacity to get on. Still difficult no doubt. But while change can be tricky and can be bad at times it can also very well create space for good to happen.
A small example but perhaps relevant. I started writing this blog in 2007. I wasn’t nearly as capable as writing as much as I have become over the last 4 years. That is not to say that I am great at it now ( there is still room for improvement ) but definitely I have evolved on an individual level in the last 4 years.
Another example. I have learned from some experiences with a lot of clarity what my work life is for me. It is just that – work. Simple. Nothing more , nothing less. Not something that needs to bear on me. I will give it my 100% but that’s it. Nothing more I can do so hence lay back and not stress over it beyond that. The more important thing to worry about in this life is perhaps the pursuit of happiness and if I can harness my energy optimally in order to achieve that as an end result – fantastic.
Another thing that has changed in me has been a growing sense of strengthening my bonds with people I love and care for. Even more so now that both my parents are gone. Especially my relatives (uncles and aunts) – my immediate family i.e. My brothers and their families of course – one of those truths that is known without needing to be said. I feel a growing need to further strengthening them. Not that I am saying they are weak, they aren’t. I feel blessed for the family and immediate aunts and uncles I have. Still there is this need for ensuring more and more of it. Perhaps I can’t explain it but hopefully most of you would get it.
Interestingly in most of the events mentioned in the last 4 years – the changes have also somehow been coupled. I started a new job when my Dad passed away. When I got separated and my grandmother passed away I was in the process of changing jobs. And now as my mother passed away there are changes which have taken place at the work place.
So yes, change will always come. It will bring the good, the bad and the grey areas with it. There is no point resisting it. It can also perhaps outline some things that will never change which you might hope would over the period of time. So one must embrace those things that change and those that cannot change and get on with life.
Lord, grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference