Baggage – that wonderful term that we all know of and use quite commonly. Emotional, personal and professional – baggage. The weight of past experiences (usually with a negative connotation attached) that we still carry with us in our current situations. Most often referred to for emotional experiences. Relationships that went south. Or ended abruptly due to circumstances beyond our control. Relationships which we can’t get out of our systems entirely. For one reason or the other.
When I think about it at times it seems a little hard to believe why people find it difficult to get over relationships. To get over the people from their past. I mean yes everyone’s situation varies vastly. Still, why is it so difficult. One would think that death is the most difficult thing to get over. Death of a close one. But then death is a natural step, a part of life or rather the conclusion of it that all of us have to go through. That question did always elude me till fairly recently. Having gone through one of the most excruciating experiences in life (emotionally) I realize why it isn’t as simple.
Honestly… from an emotional stand point I wouldn’t even want my worst enemy to feel the kind of pain that I did. And I am not talking about a high school relationship break up sort of pain. Of course not – that’s literally very very easy to get over. No, can never compare to the pain of divorce. For all intents and purposes let me just state right now – no one other than someone who has gone through the same thing can understand what it feels like. Its just not something that can be imagined… or related to unless you have gone through it yourself. Anyway I am not dwelling on the experience itself. My point is my own experience helped me realize why some baggage is difficult to let go of.
For one it is really heavy and weighs you down quite a lot. So much so that in certain instances it does change you (for better or for worse). The experience might leave you more stronger to face things that are to come, more learned and more prepared. Wiser in knowing what is more important, what the priorities should be. In others it leaves you lacking trust. Lacking conviction in the whole ideology of being with someone. Or well if not that then just the inherent trust factor that needs to be overcome.
Secondly – unlike death this isn’t exactly a natural order of things. It is something that has been brought on by yourself or pushed on you by someone else. For whatever reasons. But its ‘manmade’ if you will. Death – while again a very emotionally jarring and painful thing to deal with – is something that is natural, it has to happen. It is but the conclusion of a temporary life and the beginning of an eternal one. It is easier to accept (in by and large 99% of the cases). But something like a divorce is just painful, leaves you always wishing that it had never happened. You wish to erase it from your memory.
And hence .. baggage. We all come with it. We all have some of it. Some have heavy baggage, some have small. But we all have it. It is also part of life. And we were all given the lives that we have been given because we are strong enough to live them. So the baggage that we have is there to make us stronger people. Let’s be better for it, let’s be wiser for it. Let’s make the baggage be an experience to learn from and not something that weighs us down. Harder said then done. But then aren’t most things.