I just the movie ‘Silver Linings Playbook’. It’s a good movie. I enjoyed watching it. The healing process of recovering from deep emotional scarring (triggered by a tragedy or a some other hugely negative event in one’s life) after receiving proper therapeutic treatment can be a painful process. I am not discussing the movie or the lives of the characters in the movie. It is just that the movie made me think about a topic that I have often thought about before and written about before as well.
We live in a highly complex and self complicated world. And by we I mean people like you and me: the guy who is writing this blog and the people who are reading it. We are in a highly competitive, cut throat corporate environment. Which is made more difficult because of the economic situations of many countries. Job markets are tough and slim. And unfortunately we have all been reinforced with the need to join the rat race. Our personal lives are also made a little challenging in these times. There is the social status and lifestyle to maintain (and not just the high society types – but like just normal). Relationships with our family, friends and significant others have become more challenging in the face of an extremely pacey and concrete world. We are a part of the 99 club (the story of getting 99 gold coins which is more than enough for you but because you want that elusive 1 more gold which will take you to a 100 gold coins hence you aren’t content). So we are constantly striving for that bit more. I think we complicate things for ourselves by thinking of what will make us happy in the future instead of coming to terms with what we have in the here and now. We need to first focus on making our present situation happy and then move on to making the future happy. If we remain unhappy with our present situation and try to make a happy future well that’s just the wrong sentiment to start out with. Also to add to that we have to let go of our past. Regardless of whether the past was good or bad or positive or negative, we have to let go of it because it was the past. Whatever it was is gone and part of history and will not do anything for the present situation and circumstances. Again the focus needs to be on the present, the here and now.
We can’t always just keep looking in the clouds to find the silver linings in our situations. Sometimes you just have to take it into your own hands to create your own silver lining. You have to create the positives in your present life. The drive needs to come from within. The will to be happy in the present needs to come within. It can’t of course be forced upon you by someone else. And you can’t just wait for it to suddenly fall into your lap. Don’t wait for the feeling to come to you. Go grab that feeling in whatever direction you need to go to in order to do this.
Now I am not saying that there are sometimes situations in which we are at times helpless. Of course there can be certain instances in life which are out of your control. But that can’t be a permanent state. ‘This too shall pass’ is a good dictum to remember in such cases. But we don’t. We complicate things for ourselves and in the process probably complicate for our loved ones as well.
Therapy of any kind is not a bad thing for such out of our control circumstances. In the circumstances that the current world order is in than most average people could do with some sort of outlet. Or some sort of method by which they can reconcile on a personal and emotional level. Some find that reconciliation in venting out and what better source than to do it with a therapist who is going to be neutral and isn’t attached to your social circles. For some people its working out. Music. Writing. Sports. Aggressive sports (boxing, karate etc.) Therapy doesn’t have to narrowed down to laying on a long couch and having a shrink listening to you. That is one form of therapy. Therapy is anything that can help ease your mind and help you reconcile with yourself on a personal level. Reconciliation doesn’t necessarily mean coming to terms with life situations or accepting a decision or an event. Sometimes it is just about letting it get absorbed in your system. Letting it sink in, gently.