It’s been ions now and I am beginning to question the integrity, competency and sensibility in the way that things are handled by the various stakeholders in this institution. The fact that this issue has been allowed to drag on for this long should be ample evidence to the above mentioned charges. It should also be reason enough for me to take them to court of law and sue them up the bloody wall. It should be reason enough for me to hire the most ruthless and most expensive lawyer who is known as a legal shark of sorts and drive nails to their ass and ensure that they can’t even let our screams even if they wanted to.
But what the hell would that achieve….nothing. If this was the US or UK then maybe I could have taken the legal route and made a lot of money on it as well. Who knows I might even have focused on an extremely young retirement and focused on a career of Golf or being a comedian or a writer but it is not to be.
Things just seem to be a stall right now. Well not right now, but for quite some time. I don’t expect those around me to understand exactly what my state of mind is. I am going through this not them. And everyone’s experience differs even if the situation is more or less the same. The fact that there are so many factors involved ensures that person A’s experience of a certain event or time period would be different from Person B’s experience of a certain event or time period. So if someone else has also gone through the same kind of uncertainty which lasted for such a long time then his/her experience would be different because they are different individuals to me and have different personalities and different people around them who were involved or played a key part in this particular plight. I know I have gone into the zone of more blabbering then ensuring that the reader of this ranting post can keep track. I don’t care at this point in time really.

There are just so many things that keep going through my head which are connected to or take their root from this particular aspect of my life i.e. work/job/career that it makes absolutely impossible for me to not think about it so much. For one thing I can’t seem to find the logic in ‘Your work life ends when you get home’. Yes in terms of working it ends but I can’t simply switch of thinking about a problem of this magnitude when I get home. I mean crying out loud my job or work is 60% of my life for 5 days a week for a considerable amount of years to come. Like the next 40 years or something. So how can I just ignore any thoughts arising about such a huge part of my life? I know some people can but I just can’t. I am the sort of person who thinks a lot, I know it’s not good or healthy to be constantly thinking about things and over thinking and all but that’s who I am. I try to work on it. I hope someday I can achieve the wonderful state of ‘Ignorance being bliss’. For now it is ‘work in progress’.

I need peace of mind in this that these things get solved. I need a break. And I really need it to happen fast because this has gone on for way too long. I have been having low key moments and some good ones too (purely because of large level distractions like Eid or a niece nephew being born) (even in my outings with friends or some other plans….this chain of thought doesn’t cease. It keeps working in the background). One way is definitely to find some distractions. I am trying for that too. But for now that is also ‘work in progress’.

Signing off for now. Unfortunately just the blog and not mentally.


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