After mostly drifting through the past couple of months in and out of the daily routine that has become me, I found myself a solitary isle of hope. However the way to it has suddenly decided to allude itself from me. Which is annoying.
But then again… as I try more and more for change, and open my mind to try and figure out what it is that I ultimately want, a lot of things start to tumble out that I’ve not been thinking about … some skeletons… some things that I just am not ready for I guess. At this point in time I don’t understand. The solitary isle seems to be the only thing that I can understand… and hold onto right now. All the other stuff …I don’t know. It just seems … distant from my own being. I even begin to feel now .. that this constant daze of un-settlement is perhaps something wrong with me rather then all else.
For most of you reading this who DON’T know me … this probably isn’t making a lot of sense. For those who do, and are getting what I am talking about ..well hush.
I think what I am attaching most to the solitary isle of hope is a clean slate of sorts. Starting afresh. When I get there… it will be a new day, a new beggining. To choose my path more carefully this time. To choose my tools more wisely. To make a journey which is more in line with … me.
I hope something gives thou. Either I find solace in now, the present … or I find that isle. Or something new reveals itself.
If none of the above happens or pans out as thought, then I am darn sure that the un-settlement is in my head. And that will need to be checked out.