Its always there. Picture perfect. For every occasion, for every snap, for every moment, for every event. For every other person I meet, its always there. My everlasting front up smile. Hiding my face from the onlookers of reality. Sheltering it from the disbelief that will be instilled if there ever was to be an encounter of reality with it.
It is kind of a hard act to put on, but for some reason the burden just doesn’t seem quite there. It seems detached. Like something happening in an entirely different world one which I am not entirely or consciously aware of.
It helps me come off as this happy jolly person. My excess capacities even take me to be ‘santa’ of sorts. It helps me avoid confronting the face it hides all too well. “An everlasting smile’. I like hearing that sentence. If nothing else it puts a wry smile on the real face. The one behind the shadows. The one which is in constant touch with the reality of my emotions. Ironic thou, putting on a show to hide one reality from another.
So what’s the face really like behind that 32 carat mug? That’s the thing, I can’t explain it… cause I can’t quite understand it myself. And its not like the real face never smiles.. it does. On occasion. When I go out on a limb and come back hurt and out of it. That’s when it smiles, the real face. The one hidden all too well by the frontal smile.
The face is more or less a result of all the times I make my mind not to listen to my heart over my head and still end up going with the heart. The heart is cruel or can be cruel. And not through any fault of its own. According to the book ‘The Alchemist’, one must learn to communicate and actually talk to ones heart. Actually hear it talk back. Let it all out. and properly communicate. According to the Alchemist it is very important for man to reach that particular goal. To reach that point in your life where you are easily communicating with your heart. And if you do, you won’t regret to any great degree listening to your heart over your mind.
“A mind is a terrible thing to waste” . And that’s exactly what will happen if I keep trashing its advice.
This face…. this scarred emotionally divided face. This over thinking , over analyzing, over detailing face. The truth behind an everlasting smile.