I have been walking in my mind towards a destiny … that I know I am meant for… only I don’t know what it is. I know I am heading there…. one way or the other. Even if it doesn’t seem like it…. I know I am going there. Either that or I am really wishing hard that I am.
I tend to think .. about my life… and I can’t help but feel …. that there are bigger things out there. That I am not meant to have a normal … average… run of the mill … life….. like I am meant for being part of something not normal. Something special. Well maybe not special…. but something out of the ordinary. Something big. I am not trying to be conceited… and I am not trying to escape the drudgeries of everyday expectations and responsibilities. If anything right now I am trying very had to get a job… a normal… 9 to 5 job. But this feeling is there. It’s always been there on some level.
Lately I have been looking at people’s faces….and randomly … one would suddenly be in front of my face… talking to me conciously .. .telling me … that I have to go. On an adventure with them. (Yes i probably used the word adventure over here because I have recently been reliving the Lord of the Rings Epic Journey). On something ‘special’ with them. An adventure… a journey… a trip. A life… different from the one I am leading right now. Making bonds that are so much more beyond human emotions…. there are like …. existantial bonds. I don’t know how else to put it.
And also these feelings have also pegged on this wish .. that super heroes were real… and people could actually end up with powers like those you read about in the comics or see in the movies. But ok .. this is extreme WISHFUL thinking. But then again.. you never know.
I know there is stuff out there that I am headed for which is bigger than what I have in mind right now. Or rather than what I understand in my mind right now to be my path ahead. But somehow I feel I am getting there only… one way or the other. I know its there…. I just don’t know what it is. I am lost on knowledge…. somehow not on path. Somehow …. I feel I am being guided in the right direction … only with a blindfold.
‘Dharkan keh rahi hay… yahan koi aanay wala hay……
Sawan keh raha hay …. badal koi chaanay wala hay….’
– Strings song ‘Koi Aanay Wala Hay’
I know it doesn’t completely fit …. but its the song in my head and kind of reflects all I said right now. ‘Koi anay wala hay..’ …. for me reflects …. something is going to happen. Some event is on the horizon. Maybe its just my job…. maybe its my destiny… we’ll see. I just felt like blabbering all of this.