Once the last bead of wisdom is lost, the struggle will be useless. It won’t matter anymore because rationale will be lost and human emotion will take over. Your mind will start retrieving everything out of it’s storage areas. Like a warp. Like a vacuum thrust. They pull and they pull.
Memories start filling the visions and the senses. The childhood adventures. The tween year rebellion. The teenage angst. Thy young ambitions. Thy young love. The first kiss. The proud graduation. All starts coming to the tip of all the senses. It’s all I can see and hear now. A flash of memories.
Apologies would seem useless now. Death has you by the throat and you are not even struggling. But still you hope, as you have all those years. That maybe your regrets will forgive you one day. One day the people connected to your regret will forgive you one day. One day the people connected to your regrets will forgive you. For you left suddenl, everything and everyone, leaving behind only some memories.
You find yourself now facing your own reflection like the master hurdle at an obstacle course, you must convince yourself, your reflection of who you were, how you lived. And that point in time, after death, is where you are stuck. You are frozen. You can’t see the golden stairs of heaven and you can hardly feel hell. All you know is you have changed hands with death and left this world.
The realizations comes quite late, but that’s ok, because time is all you will have. You are stuck, because you can’t move on without correcting who you’ve wronged. Till then you stay ghost.