It is a great day tmr. It has been a great few days now. But what has the future in store for us. Do we really know? … or are we content with whatever is given to us on our ever reliable plates.
I am not sure if what i have today will be with me tmr. And i can never be sure. No matter what i do. I have to live with that fact. Man was not meant to see into the future, so that he could work for it, wholeheartedly. But then … there are some things that man wants so much that he wish he could make concrete for the future. Unmovable, unchangeable, unchallenged. His desire, his dream, his need.
Alas, thats not how the world is meant to be. But what of this sordid mind and heart then. That refuses at times on certain vices to accept that. That it becomes prey to the ever pouncing paranoia. Hmm… everything seems real. Well everything is real. But, everything seems … real. I use the word in a different sense. Those with enuff wise courage shall get me , and those who cannot .. well this isn’t meant for anyone to get anyway so .. whoop tee do.
If only.. this time would pass quickly .. this time would not be eating at my brain cells…
If only …. i could … assure myself … that everything will be alright no matter how it goes. But i can’t . Somethings i just can’t assure myself on. Somethings i am just to tied into .. to want to assure myself of in that way.
So happy day… the sun will keep shining … the clouds will keep visiting from time to time… and this heart… this heart will keep sinking in it’s own miserable turmoil every now and then .