Everything that i thought i would be, has fallen right in front of me. Every second .. becomes more than i can take. I become so much more … than i should be. So much more than what i should not be. I have no choice left. I have to run from myself. Before i hurt someone. Before i hurt those i love… or those who love me. Before i hurt myself. Before i become so numb that .. i forget … everything. And all i see is a blur.
everything that everyone wants me to be… is a distant dream. Everything everyone is afraid of what i will be… a stark reality standing , in human form, in the shape of me. I have to run from myself.
Nothing… i do … i say… i plan… i want…. is unassociated with pain for me or for others. And now i become a part of me … ironic.. thats how its supposed to be. But i want to seperate myself from .. becoming myself. I have to forget myself … i have to run from myself.
But my shadow’s right there behind me. Hounding me , everywhere i go. It never goes away. I wish it would.
The imperfect… far from what is perfect. Bad… far from what is good. Far from rational. far .. far … far from … what i hoped i could be.
This is the end .. i knew would come for me. Sitting alone in this cold room…. all to myself… with no one. But my thoughts to consume me to my death. I have successfully driven everyone away already. So no one’s left behind anyway. My tears .. my salvation of sorts.. a temporary break away.
Who knew .. this day was going to be like the rest.
– The Bad Son , 1985 – 2007 ..