I have waited for this for so long. This future, that hasn’t come about as yet. I can see it… clear as crystal. But i can’t call it mine still. I have to wait more for that. I have always have to wait more for that. The closer my destiny seems to me , the distance becomes longer.
The dawn keeps breaking to a new reality that i had yet not encoutnered. And all of a sudden i am tangled, in my own thougths. I try to follow, a plan, something. But i just find myself lost again. The sun glares in my eyes. I can see it saying , ” yea its a bloodie fuking sunny day ” .
I walk on. Scared, to know of what could happen. What could very well be an outcome. I look behind to realize that i am alone.. all by myself on this burning journey of sorts. I am about to collide with my worst fears, without a soul by side.
My body is tired, and i am mentally drained. The light is becoming brighter and brighter for me. My vision blinded. I am now walking without any aid. Without support. I just move. Forward … hopefully. To my destiny, to my goal. To my dream.
Thats the funny thing about destiny thou. Quite soon it changes into fate… a word i have heard more to be associated with a doomsday sort of proposition. Thats what i see happening with myself as well. The symptoms all seem to be there. Your classic paranoia with a severe doubt and helplessness. Its all there. And just as much as you would know it. So is fate.
So in my blind trench…. i walk… i slip… and i fall… down… to my end.