To my friends , writing on relationships would probably be something that they would not associate as something too logical or too helpful with me. I have not had a very good history of being in a good relationship, albeit the one , which too as it turned out 4 years later, was not really a healthy one. I seem incapable of starting relationships with ppl i feel that i can start relationships with. And well the ones that i do start , just get so tainted with , my signature all over them. My signature being the fact that one way or the other i am the one who gets hammered in the end.
Relationships, i feel , are things better left beyond the understanding of what is mostly fair in life, or what is mostly just. I am sure that my friend , wrathchild would agree with me on this fact. But somehow one way or the other we are again and again drawn to be in them. Even if we try to make ourselves emotionally dead. Humans are unfortunately needy beings. They are condemned to love. They are condemned to feel. Therefore to be emotionally dead is a herculeun task. Hence we are drawn to the all so eutopia of a relationship.
As it turns out, since we think of relationships on par with eutopia, we tend to take the level of our expectations really high. And when we do that, something inside makes us turn into these really emotionally sensitive creatures who would start treating our respective others like royalty or like angels. This takes to a very very vulnerable position. Even if at the outset we might feel happy and secure about things, it makes us veulnerable to the most hurtful of things. The drastic dissappointment to our expectations. And that makes us miserable. I am not saying that ends relationships but unforntunately that makes us miserable. In my opinion , relationships mostly have this theory working within it. Some people might be of the opinion, that , by treating their respective others like crap, is the success formula for a relationship. Something common to jockful guys about their girls. Not something i can contemplate with. And unfrotunately for me i have already been in a realtionship where i have NOT TREATED her like crap and instead like someone i cared about. She did not run me over with a 18 wheeler thou, it just wasn’t a healthy relationship in the end. The other experiences of mine , did seem like 18 wheelers.
So where does that leave me ? I am not ready to treat anyone like crap, and i am already the opposite. So where is the in between ? The true formula of a happy relationship. AFter much deliberation, after much thought, i am still clue less. Relationships still seem complex structured elements to me that i can’t seem to comprehend. So much so that i reminded of what i was like as a Chemistry Student. I have thought , done , and observed all the understandings and the compromisies and the opposites attract and things in common and what nots. I still remain clues less on this phenomenon of a relationship.
In the end , relationships to me, will be something that some person or the other would provide incentive towards . Not intentionally, but still would happen. What is worse is once that happens i will go at a million miles an hour. And before you know it , i would be smitten. I would have also gone on to say whipped , however, i refuse to believe that i will be whipped or nething.
Relationships, dont know squat about them. And in my honest opinion, one must try their level best to stay away from them until i suppose we are in a more secure position with other aspects of our life. And to all those who are in one right now , Cheers, for the drink you will be having to sulk in.