For All The Gunners To All The United Fans


This is a letter i got from a fellow Gunner. I simply loved it, and would like to share it with the world at large.

An epic game of football took place on the night of the 21st and I was fortunate enough to have witnessed the action live albeit thousands of mile away from where I would have wanted to be.

football, a game we have all fallen in love with, a game which we all admire, a game which has taught us how to handle all the excitement and all the pain in all of 90 minutes. I saw excitement and jubilation turn into anger and misery in about 5 minutes and yet I also experienced indifference turn into to jubilation in about 5 minutes.As you all know I am a fantasy junkie and hence outcome of matches take a back seat to individual points. This was my frame of mind when the match started yesterday. I was only interested in two gentlemen from both teams scoring goals. Mind you one of them did not even start and was on the bench and the other was taken off for the most profound of reasons which I guess only the ‘Knight’ in shining armour can explain. Otherwise the result did not matter. However that all changed when Mr. Azhar being the ardent supporter of a team managed by a person who makes such profound statements like ‘Rooney needs to score’ started jumping up and down and punching the air when ‘Rooney did score!!!!’ I have never heard Mr. Wenger say ‘Henry needs to score’ and the reason I guess is that when he plays he does…… score. I shall dwell on this point again.

Over the years I have learnt never to cry or never to smile before the final whistle and this is exactly what I did yesterday. I guess my receding hair line is a testament to this fact. Having said this the receding hair lines of the Devils fans doesn’t indicate that they have learnt their lessons. I only punched the same air which Mr. Azhar had done earlier but with more conviction and a greater confidence that the same air will not punch me back. I understood the game plan. It was to be good hosts till the time that you decided that it was a game of football we were playing. That is when a certain Mr. Persie was called to action. I guess that also showed the difference between the two managers. One took off Mr. Hleb and put on the gentleman I just mentioned and the other took off Mr. Ronaldo (the highest scorer in the team and the second highest scorer in the entire league) and put in Mr. Heinze, a defender, and that too after Mr. Persie had equalized. Why on earth would anyone with 20 years of experience with the same team do such a thing? Might as well have Mr. Kuzsack come in for Rooney and stand in goal. Then there would have been 2 goalkeepers and the last goal would have still been conceded! In any case who am I to criticize the most influential pensioner in the world? Maybe it is time he should start living on pension.

Coming back to the game; enter stoppage time of the game and the Devils are satisfied with a draw or so it seems based on the decisions of the manager. However the King as we all know him is not satisfied with a mere draw and that too in his ground. This is his castle, his fortress, his coliseum. He has entertained his guests and let them play with the ball as much as they want. He then asks them whether they want to play football and being the fools which they were, they replied in the affirmative only to be faced with the wrath of the French King. Take a bow for Henry for in his calculated mind he then being the callous King which he is, waited and waited and waited till the time the whistle moved from the hands of the referee to the lips of the referee to send a killer header into the net of the Devils. Perhaps a page out of some fairy tale book or some horror book for all of you, but in comes Mr. Eboue who gets the ball from Mr. Fabregas and whips the balls into the circle which is manned by 10 gentlemen in blue jerseys and one gentleman in a yellow jersey and the ball which is moving like a targeted missile finds the head of the King only to be found behind the gentleman in the yellow shirt. All of this took not more than a minute and you could see the faces of the gentlemen in blue. I could only see the face of the gentleman in a red jacket with the Devils logo on the left side and the ‘Champions League’ logo on the right. Why on earth would a team which got kicked out of the European competition in the first round last year make jackets of that nature is beyond my understanding. Anyway, the reaction was classic both from the gentlemen in blue as well as the gentleman in red sitting watching. With his head hanging all he could do was twiddle with his thumb and play with his technologically advanced device. I guess the message was to another gentleman marked in this email which read ‘We are fucked!”

Gentlemen: We went to the Old Trafford known as the ‘theatre of dreams’ and indeed made a theatre out of the whole proceedings. Mr. Lehmann did not have to look behind even once to get the ball. Thereafter we invited you to the latest stadium in London only to have your asses kicked back to Manchester.

All I’m trying to say after all that I have said is ‘Don’t fuck around with the best. You might go on to win the league and the Champions League and the FA Cup and whatever other silverware you can get your pity hands on and I shall support you all the way on each of these endevours but in the end the only team to have kicked your ass TWICE is the team led by the true King’

Enjoy your day or what is left of it. J I will surely enjoy mine!

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Author: Sammy Wiseguy

Marketer, blogger, reader, Arsenal fan, frequently emotionally wounded cricket fan

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