A feeling all too familiar

I sit here , in a cold silent room. I dont know where i am, but still guide you there. I cant tell you what i am doing or thinking, but probably show you. I am in a whirlwind of not knowing all this associated with me. Yet still being able to tell about them. Its strange isnt it.
I wish i could tackle the future ahead of me. I know i cant thou. I wish i would have stuck to listening to my brain for once and … well truly ignoring the forbidden organ. (i mean the heart) . No .. instead its always a better idea , as decided by the fates, that i do exactly the opposite. And now look where it got me, sitting in a cold silent room not knowing what i am doing or thinking or where i am. Not knowing only on a level associated with myself.

Thought it would be different this time. Thought i could have gotten away with it. Thought i could finally have been on top of that beautiful balancing pole on that very unbalanced apple cart , without it tipping. I say that to get the gravity of the rarity into your imagination as you read.

I know, the morning is about to come up and soon the last of my dejected sanity will give in to sheer willful exhaustion of the mindset. The last trounce of emotional feeling is about to go down into the pitfalls of twists. I know , i make not much sense. Nor that i have used this time for much use, except for that which i have endured not once but according to some a trillion times before. YEt i keep walking back to that cold silent room. and wait. and wait and wait and wait and wait.


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