The Return of the Mercurial Pakistan
We were thumped in the warm up games against India and South Africa. We crashed to a defeat against England. We started the tournament as one of the most out of sorts team. (Even with the Aussies being dumped out in the first round).
Our batting line up was threateningly out of order. Our fielding was horrible. But then, we returned. Pakistan’s T20 Campaign was reborn. All with our do or die match against New Zealand. Gul returned world record T20 bowling figures of 5 wickets for just 6 runs. Remarkable feat. Afridi took a stunner of a catch. Not only was this beyond your average Pakistan fielding expectations but it was actually along the standards of the Proteas fielding.
We marched on to the Semi Final. We were to play South Africa, the tournament favorites. One of the only 2 unbeaten sides (Sri Lanka being the other). Even with our improved performances, everyone had written us off against South Africa. No way. Even with the proteas being the proverbial chokers of the big stage… it just didn’t seem plausible with the way they were going.
Game Time – South Africa had us at 28 – 2. Akmal had departed after a handy 23 off 15 ( or something like that ) and the young Shahzaib let the nerves of a 19 year olds first ever semi final against a team like SA get to him. Enter Boom Boom Afridi. Fairing low on the batting scale throughout the tournament with only glimpses of slight hope in the previous 2 matches, Afridi hammered a 34 ball 50 to put Pakistan in a pole position to set up a big total. But SA pulled it back. We were restricted to just 149.
Pressure on for our bowling. Kallis and Smith took it to 40 in 5.5 overs before Aamir C&B Smith. Then once again.. enter Boom Boom Afridi. 
2 quick wickets of Gibbs and AB and a tight spell with figures of 4 overs 2 wickets and 16 runs. Brilliant once again with the bowl. From then on … Pakistan were more or less the more comfortable team in the match. The runs were squeezed courtesy once again of not only Afridi but also Ajmal and Gul. Things once again went according to plan. Apart from the final over and the one erratic decision of a Fawad Alam over… we were in the driving seat.
Today was not a case of South Africa choking on the big stage. It was more a case of Pakistan beating them. It was a case of the Art of cricket beating the Science of cricket.
We are in the final once again of the T20. We either face the Windies or Sri Lanka. Whoever it is…. the signs are there….. The mercurial Pakistan have returned. At least for now. On our day…we can be lions!! GO PAKISTAN! GO AFRIDI! GO GUL! This cup is ours for the taking! 
Cricket Pakistan: Disappointment Looms Ahead
Once boasting the likes of Akram, Waqar, Inzi & Anwar and other heroes of our cricketing past, Pakistan was one of the game’s most dangerously unpredictable team. It didn’t matter if we were facing Waugh’s Aussies or the impeccable Proteas, on our best day we could create fireworks and produce a firecracker of a game. We were passionate. We had bite in our batting and force in our bowling. Easily figuring in the top 3 – 4 ODI teams on a regular basis. 
We had the magic of Akram’s left arm pace, the banana swing of Waqar’s ferocious right arm, the middle order reliability of our Inzi and the opening class of Anwar. Not to mention the ‘doosra’ or the ‘googly’ of Saqi. We had our evergreen and motivating Moin Khan. That was a team I would sit down for through thick and thin. They had their good days and their bad days. They had lazy days and miraculous ones. But they always had something about them which would ensure the morale and motivation of its fans. It after all had some of the players who were part of the world cup winning squad of ‘92 to begin with.
Our current team, which lost yesterday to England lacks talent, commitment, passion,spirit,inspiration, discipline…. I could keep going on and this list would not really end. Since the start of the warm matches for this T20 World Cup, Pakistan’s performance has been under par. In fact it has been far worse than that as well. We are quite vulnerable to defeat at the hands of the Dutch. I couldn’t see the hunger in a single player last night. Not even the captain. Who let us not forget thinks this T20 Tournament is not to be taken seriously and just for ‘fun’. 
While he might have said that not to put down the tournament but rather to set a mind frame, unfortunately for him, that is not the way to get about it. In the last 2 years, Pakistan’s team has increasingly become more and more predictable in the way it will have a lackluster performance and approach to the match. We have not been a team filled with the spirit or desire since the last T20 world cup. Our batting is weak. Our balling lacks any threat. Our fielding….. well lets just leave our fielding. After yesterday’s disaster of a performance in all departments… the fielding was still the one to stick out as the one FAR WORST. I counted at least 10 dropped chances. 
The PCB’s administrative turbulence doesn’t help matters either. A continuation of the ad-hoc system of running things is slowly taking away from this nation a sport in which we thrived… and crazed ourselves. We have had 4 Chief Selectors since 2007. Not to mention the number of coaches that have changed. The re-association of Miandad followed by the re-disassociation and the eventual re-re-association are all examples of an unhealthy system. Cricket has officially been made a mockery of. The lack of playing time against teams of merit for a long time (The gap between the asia cup and the matches against Sri Lanka and then Australia yet another 2 months after that) certainly didn’t help our team to be a slightly better equipped. We were bound to be rusty no doubt. Also the scrapping of the ICC Champions Trophy and taking away of our World Cup Hosting rights were enough of bummer for players and fans alike. But all these reasons, while with some weight simply cannot be used as excuses for all the things that our team lacks. 
Playing on the World T20 stage and representing one’s country in my humble opinion should be enough to fire up your sense of spirit and engine. It should be enough to be able to give your 100%. If at the end of the day THAT is not enough for the team to win, it is something far more acceptable then a team of experienced players going out there as if they’ve just started playing the sport and are yet to develop any sort of connection with it. It is atrocious. The biggest crime in all of this was actually the lack of passion, spirit or determination. Things which can take you far beyond your skill and ability. Things which can take you far beyond the discipline as well.
I hope that we do beat the Dutch on the 9th and by enough of a margin to qualify. But honestly … if you ask me right now.. gun to my head… we do not deserve to make it anywhere near winning this competition. Not with the attitude we have shown so far. Not with the commitment we have shown so far.
Pakistan needs a complete overhaul of the PCB and the general setup in order to get back to being a potent force in the world of cricket. We need a better administrative and more stable structure to support the progress and development of a team properly put in place with sound judgment and merit. If things continue the way they have…. we will soon become the proverbial failures.
Rush
It often happens in our lives that we rush into things completely blinded by false images of a magnificent future without even looking deeply into what we are doing. And it often turns out to be something that we definitely should have had a better look at. We make the decision because we are desperate to escape this one thing so much, that we completely overlook checking whether the next thing is something which will make us want to escape as much as well….
I think I’ve often treaded that path, not with one particular aspect of my life but … well a collective few. And as I said…. it was often without the necessary due diligence. I’ve paid the price as many times. Maybe not in obvious terms …. but I know I have. In one way or the other.
The biggest problem in all of this is that we think about our future and we paint ourselves a perfect little world. And we get absorbed so much in that idea of our future that we never really get out of it. Whether its relationships, your work / career or life in general…we just get stuck to that idea of ours… our little painting of our perfect little worlds… cozily nested up in our minds. And all the while ensuring that reality is never really given an honest chance from us. We get easily frustrated, tired, mentally exhausted… all because …well … various reasons for various things in question. As a result of which we make a decision at the first exit point that we see…. and purely just because its an exit point with Glowing lights and flashy signs… with a couple of I don’t know … tempting posters or something. What we don’t really see is where this exit is leading us. Because of we did ….if we properly looked at it …we would know .. its someplace that you’d rather not be. Not because its bad…. but because …it doesn’t suit you even more.
I am at one of these points right now as well. And I feel more frustrated, pressured…. and …overall … don’t even know how to put it.
Point of this entire stupid rant: DO NOT EVER RUSH INTO THINGS!….. like seriously. This is true experience talking. Don’t rush into relationships. Don’t rush into feelings. Don’t rush into vacation plans. Don’t rush into hasty decisions purely because well you have to make it immediately. Your gut feeling is a good thing to go by .. but not all the time.
Rise Pakistan….
We fight in the north with a self construed virus. Every day the number of IDP’s grow. There are millions of people whose life is torn apart. From whom everything has been taken away. And yet…. they still have nowhere to turn. The relief camps have been set up. The army is fighting and pushing hard. But its still not enough to win a war which goes far beyond the defeat of the Taaliban ( God knows when that will happen). People are dying of hunger, disease and other dangers. I saw on DAWN News today of one camp where there is a severe lack of security arrangements. Intruders are coming in at whim, threatening IDPs and creating more panic. The Police recovered some mines from one of the camps. Things are very bad. Zardari isn’t lying (One of the rare occasions) when he says that the current amount of aid pledges made to win this war are hardly enough. They aren’t. With all this current plight of the people of the north, what is the most startling to see… is the absence of a united nation.
I fail to see what the entire nation is doing to help their brethren. There is a lack of urgency as was there at the time of the 2005 Earthquake. There is not enough urgency in the relief efforts or the mobilization to get everyone behind a motivated front to help, to contribute. Maybe its a different economic setting. But that is hardly reason enough. This is a very crucial time in the country’s history. We are fighting a virus which might very well have been allowed to spread too much and question the existence and survival of Pakistan. This is a grave situation and hardly anyone seems to realize it. Hardly anyone seems to bother. And what’s more is that this WILL affect the entire nation more then that earthquake ( NOT trying to put down one tragedy for another). 
It is shocking. It is sad. And it is fact. We are not as mobile. We are not as united. We are not getting behind what is a necessity to be done now. We are simply not doing our share to help.
IF there was ever a time in the modern history of Pakistan to rise, this is it. It is significant that we rise. We rise to our capabilities and do our bits to help. To help fight this war far beyond the defeat of the Taliban. The war will certainly not end there. The IDPs will have to rehabilitated. Their homes rebuilt. Their lives rekindled. And this nation, the people of this land, we must unite now and we must rise. We have to stand up for this nation, for it’s survival, for our identities to be forged in the manner and expectation of the ideals upon which Pakistan was made. On the backs of the sacrifices that have been made in the past and are still made by a rare few.
My appeal is simple – merely sending out messages or writing stuff like I’ve is not enough. I am not hoping to start a revolution of writing on the web with this. (I am not a hypocrite… I know when I am part of the bad lot). I am hoping that maybe I too will be able to do something much more then this tomorrow but along with that most of you who read this will also do so. Shazia Marri announced that 150 Trucks will be going to the aid of the north. How can we help? How can we donate? Where do we donate? Where to do we chip in with the manpower to make sure that all of the donations that do come in can go as soon as possible?
I pray to Allah to help the people of Swat and other affected areas in their time of need. May Allah keep us all in his blessed protection. 
Wish for disaster…
It seems like I’ve hit a dead end in life. I can’t seem to find a way forward and the way back is already tormented me to pieces. I feel like this floating body in water where I am not really in control of where I am going. The flow is just taking me itself. The dead end is … my control over my own things. 
5 years on from where I started and certainly don’t feel like I am at the junction I imagined myself to be. Maybe that’s because its just the starting phase of the new journey. Or maybe because these last 5 years have been maligned by single focused thoughts and day dream distractions. The last 5 years have not been spent in the right kind of soul searching. Rather the more whimsical kind.
Is this really something that I wanted to do or was I taken in by the charms of ‘entitlements’ and the grape vine factor? I really have to ask myself that question. But now I am too afraid. What if it’s too late? I am already on the next journey…. I am already someplace I can’t get out of soon. I am already trapped and confined to borders I wanted to be far away from. I’ve already let my control slip away slowly and slowly.
Its too soon to be in a sort of a ‘rut’ feeling. And I know I have that at times and I know that is not good. I feel helpless.
So much so every now and then I find myself actually imagining myself in some sort of a mishap. An accident. A disaster. A tragedy. I almost find myself wishing for it. For the lack of any other plausible escape my mind wanders to creating the necessity for escape at a very high price. Not only in physical terms. But also one that I might just end up paying with my morality, my self worth.
But it will mean escape. Escape from where I am right now. It might just end up in a permanent escape, such a dangerous wish. I know I will never act on it. I should be saying ‘I HOPE’ thou.
Sometimes what you wish for doesn’t come true and then you immediately start wishing for something else. This wish at times can be a rebound wish. Works in the same manner and principle as that of a ‘rebound relationship’. And it really doesn’t out to be that pretty. And since you been through some stuff or are in it with someone you feel obligated to, you end up being trapped. And that’s when you end up wishing for disaster. Pathetic.
Maybe if I can just let some time ride by. Maybe if I could just hang in for a little bit. Maybe then a rational or rather a plausible escape will come my way. Just maybe.
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Friday, April 17, 2009
Sehar Tariq
Eight years ago I boarded a plane to the United States to come to college. I was 17. As I left, my father hugged me and told me to never come back because he believed that soon Pakistan would not be a country fit for me to live in. I told him he was trying to save money by not having to buy me tickets to come home. We laughed it off. I hugged him goodbye and that day my father and I began our great debate about the fate of Pakistan. Abba told me to stay away. I defied him every time. I came home twice a year. I only flew PIA. I refused to do an internship in the US I worked every summer in Pakistan. I moved back when college ended. I started work in Pakistan. I worked two jobs because there was so much to do and not enough time to do it in. I was inspired and energised. I was hopeful and optimistic.
Today I am neither. And I have lost the debate with my father about the fate of Pakistan. The Parliament by endorsing the Nizam-e-Adl Regulation (NAR) has heralded the end of Pakistan as I knew and loved it. Today, the elected representatives of the people turned Pakistan into Talibanistan. Today we handed over a part of the country to them. I wonder how much longer before we surrender it all.
Today we legislated that a group of criminals would be in charge of governing and dispensing justice in a part of Pakistan according to their own obscurantist views. They have declared that the rulings of their courts will be supreme and no other court in the land can challenge them. They have also declared that their men that killed and maimed innocent civilians, waged war against the Pakistani army and blew up girls schools will be exempt from punishment under this law. A law that does not apply equally to all men and women is not worthy of being called a law. Hence today we legislated lawlessness.
What was most disturbing was the quiescence of the Parliament to this legislation. The utter lack of debate and questioning of this ridiculous legislation was appalling. The decision was not informed by any independent research or expert testimony, and to my knowledge none of the parliamentarians are authorities on matters of security, rule of law or regional conditions in Swat. This signals disturbing possibilities. Either our politicians are too afraid to stand up to criminals or maybe they don’t possess the foresight to gauge the national impact of this action. There is no hope for a country led by cowards or fools.
How can one be hopeful about the political future of a country where the will and the wisdom of politicians becomes hostage to the threats of barbarians? How can I be optimistic about a country where doyens of the media like Ansar Abbasi hear the collective silence of the parliamentarians as the resounding support of the people of Pakistan, but are deaf to the threats issued by the Taliban to anyone opposing the legislation? How can I feel secure in a country where the army, despite receiving the largest chunk of our resources, cannot defeat a bunch of thugs? How can I expect justice when there are different laws for different citizens, and I as a woman am a second class citizen? How can I be inspired by a country where there is no culture, no music, no art, no poetry and no innovative thought?
How can I be expected to return to a country where women are beaten and flogged publicly, where my daughters will not be allowed to go to school, where my sisters will die of common diseases because male doctors cannot see them? How can I be expected to call that country home that denies me the rights given me by my Constitution and religion? I refuse to live in a country where women like me are forced to rot behind the four walls of their homes and not allowed to use their education to benefit the nation. By endorsing the NAR and giving in to the Taliban, Parliament has sapped my hope and optimism. Parliament has dealt a deathly blow to the aspirations of the millions of young Pakistanis who struggle within and outside the country, fuelled by sheer patriotism, for a peaceful, prosperous and progressive Pakistan.
When there is no hope, no optimism, no security, no justice, no education, no progress, no culture there is no Pakistan. Maybe it is because I am the grandchild of immigrants who was raised on stories of hope, patriotism and sacrifice that even in this misery I cannot forget that Pakistan was created to protect the lives, property, culture and future of the Muslims of the Subcontinent. It was not established to be a safe haven for terrorists. We fought so that we could protect the culture of the Muslims of the Subcontinent, not so that we could import the culture of Saudi Arabia. Our ancestors laid down their lives so that the Muslims of the Subcontinent both men and women – could live in a land free of prejudice, not so that they could be subjected to violent discrimination of the basis of sect and gender.
Maybe it’s because I’m competitive and I don’t want to lose the debate to my father, maybe I am afraid to lose the only home I have, or maybe because I love Pakistan too much to ever say goodbye I hope we can remember the reasons why we made Pakistan, and I hope we can stand up to fight for them. I hope we can revive the spirit of national unity of 1947 and lock arms to battle the monster of the Taliban that threatens our existence. Talibanistan is an insult to my Pakistan. I want my country back. Pakistan Paaindabad!
The writer is pursuing a master’s at Princeton University. Earlier, she attended Yale University.
The Malice of Power
Men love power. More than anything else they desire power. They run after it like hungry dogs and once in their grasps, try to hold on to it with an iron grip. It doesn’t matter if that power is something they wield over the life of one human being or a million; it will do just as long as they have it. They go about it by any means necessary. Beg, borrow or steal. Kill even if required. In face of her(power) great temptation all other things, living or non-living are insignificant. It drives men insane. It becomes their only objective. The only purpose.
Power is man’s greatest seductress. The mistress to his humanity. A mistress he loves cheating on humanity with. A mistress that soon becomes his goddess. subconsciously controlling and wiping out all signs and traces of humanity. His goals corrupted and his mind hypnotized.
Power ignites the corrupt potential in man to its highest level. For all his strengths, man weakens for power. History has provided us numerous examples of people losing their way because of this malice.
The Romans, the moguls etc. All great people of history have had leaders or rulers who gave in to the temptation. Who caved in to the desire.
Power is often tied up with another desire. For men’s need to be immortal. To remain alive always in history. To try and cheat death. Not literally but indirectly. Immortality is yet another malice. Yet another desire which easily corrupts and takes a non-human form. We all die. And we all will outlive the memory banks of this world. Sooner or later it happens. The story of men fades, history is forgotten. Rewritten. But men at times don’t understand that.
They just see that the power they hold will make them immortal. Unforgettable through history. They think they will become larger then reality and the universe itself. When in all truth, they will do nothing more then corrupt themselves and their own personal world.
“Men, who above all else desire power”……”The Ring passed to Isildur, who had this one chance to destroy evil forever, but the hearts of men are easily corrupted. And the ring of power has a will of its own. It betrayed Isildur, to his death.”
Two lines from “The Lord of the Rings : The Fellowship of the Ring” movie & Galadriel’s (Cate Blanchett) opening dialogue , that I think perfectly fall in line with what I am trying to say here.
The Face Behind an Everlasting Smile….
Its always there. Picture perfect. For every occasion, for every snap, for every moment, for every event. For every other person I meet, its always there. My everlasting front up smile. Hiding my face from the onlookers of reality. Sheltering it from the disbelief that will be instilled if there ever was to be an encounter of reality with it.
It is kind of a hard act to put on, but for some reason the burden just doesn’t seem quite there. It seems detached. Like something happening in an entirely different world one which I am not entirely or consciously aware of.
It helps me come off as this happy jolly person. My excess capacities even take me to be ‘santa’ of sorts. It helps me avoid confronting the face it hides all too well. “An everlasting smile’. I like hearing that sentence. If nothing else it puts a wry smile on the real face. The one behind the shadows. The one which is in constant touch with the reality of my emotions. Ironic thou, putting on a show to hide one reality from another.
So what’s the face really like behind that 32 carat mug? That’s the thing, I can’t explain it… cause I can’t quite understand it myself. And its not like the real face never smiles.. it does. On occasion. When I go out on a limb and come back hurt and out of it. That’s when it smiles, the real face. The one hidden all too well by the frontal smile.
The face is more or less a result of all the times I make my mind not to listen to my heart over my head and still end up going with the heart. The heart is cruel or can be cruel. And not through any fault of its own. According to the book ‘The Alchemist’, one must learn to communicate and actually talk to ones heart. Actually hear it talk back. Let it all out. and properly communicate. According to the Alchemist it is very important for man to reach that particular goal. To reach that point in your life where you are easily communicating with your heart. And if you do, you won’t regret to any great degree listening to your heart over your mind.
“A mind is a terrible thing to waste” . And that’s exactly what will happen if I keep trashing its advice.
This face…. this scarred emotionally divided face. This over thinking , over analyzing, over detailing face. The truth behind an everlasting smile.
Note of a tormented person…
I keep watching to the dark night. Watching as the full moon fights a losing battle against clouds. Watching as the wind strikes against me hard. Watching as the rain lashes through the atmosphere making its presence known to all living things. 
I keep watching and waiting. Waiting to see if the heroes that our destined to save all of us will turn up tonight. Heroes we’ve always heard will be there to save our souls. I’ve been waiting for so long for mine. For my savior. All I can see right now through my cracked vision is the flight of my soul. All I can do is watch as it flies away.
But I am still standing and waiting, tormented from inside at the loss of feeling anything. Twisted but real. I know all of this requires a much needed dose of sanity. Sanity which won’t come without those saviors, those heroes. Those who I heard about from the ancient times.
They still haven’t come. I am here, in this moment, with an escaped soul. With the hand of a stormy night enticing me more and more over the edge. All I can hear is it’s thunder, some distant screams, the voices of torment from inside my head and the feeble voice of hope fading away somewhere in the distance.
It will vanish for good sometime soon, my hope. All that will be left will be the torment then. I won’t even have the capacity to feel the storm. Maybe I won’t even have the capacity to hear a tear drop fall let alone shed one.
I wish something would just take me away, I’d even settle for the grim reaper at this point.
