An Analogy of Socialism

An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never failed a single student before but had once failed an entire class.

That class had insisted that socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer. The professor then said, "OK, we will have an experiment in this class on socialism. All grades would be averaged and everyone would receive the same grade so no one would fail and no one would receive an A.

After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B. The students who studied hard were upset an d the students who studied little were happy.

As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little. The second test average was a D! No one was happy.

When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F. The scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else.

All failed, to their great surprise, and the professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great but when government takes the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed.
It could not be any simpler than that.

"You cannot legislate the poor into freedom by legislating the wealthy out of freedom. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for,that my dear friend, is about the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it."

The Bro Code

• Article 1: Bro’s before Ho’s
• Article 2: A Bro is always entitled to do something stupid, as long as the rest of his Bros are doing it
• Article 3: If a Bro gets a dog, it must be at least as tall as his knee when full-grown
• Article 4: A Bro never divulges the of the Bro Code to a woman. It is a scared document not to be shared with chicks for any reason…no not even that reason.
• Article 5: whether he cares about sports or not, a Bro cares about sports.
• Article 6: A /bro shall not lollygag if he must get naked in front of other Bros in a gym locker room
• Article 7: A Bro never admits he can’t drve stick. Even after an accident.
• Article 8: A Bro never sends a greeting card to another Bro.
• Article 9: Should a Bro lose a body part due to an accident or illness, his fellow Bros will not make lame jokes such as “Gimmee three!” or “Wow, quiiting your job like that really took a lot of ball”. Its still a high five and that Bro still has a lot of balls…metaphorically speaking of course.
• Article 10: A Bro will drop whatever he’s doing and rush to help his Bro dump a chick.
• Article 11: A Bro may ask his Bro(s) to help him move, but only after first discoling an honest estimate on both time commitment and number of large pieces of furnititure. If the Bro has vastly underestimated either, his Bros retain the right to leave his possessions where they are-in most cases, stuck in a doorway.
• Article 12: Bros do no share dessert
• Article 13: All Bros shall dub one of their Bros his wingman
• Article 14: If a chick inquires about another Bro’s sexual history, a Bro shall honor the ‘Code of silence’ and play dumb. Better to have women think all men are stupid than tell the truth.
• Article 15: A Bro never dances with his pants below his hips.
• Article 16: A Bro should be able, at any time, to recite the following reigning champions: Cricket, Football, and Playmate of the Year
• Article 17: A Bro shall be kind and courteous to his co-workers, unless they are beneath him on the Pyramid of Screaming
• Article 18: If a Bro spearheads a beer run at a party, he is entitled to any excess monies accrued after canvassing the group
• Article 19: A Bro shall not sleep with another Bro’s sister. However, a Bro shall not get angry if another Bro says, “Dude, your sisters hot!”
• Article 20: A Bro respects his Bros in the military because they’ve selflessly chosen to defend the nation, but more to the point, because they can kick his ass sex ways to sunday.
• Article 21: A Bro never shares observations about another Bro’s smoking-hot girlfriend. Even if the Bro with the hot girlfriend attempts to bait the Bro by saying “she’s smoking-hot, huh?” a Bro shall remain silent, because in this situation, he’s the only one who should be baiting.
• Article 22: There is no law that prohibits a woman from being a Bro.
• Article 23 When flipping through TV channals with his Bros, a Bro is not allowed to skip past a program featuring boobs. This includes but is not limited to, exercise shows, womens athletics, and on some occasions surgery programs.
• Article 24: When wearing a cap, a Bro may position the brim at either 12 or 6 o’clock. All other angles are reserved for rappers and the handicapped.
• Article 25: A Bro doesnt let another Bro get a tattoo, particularly a tattoo of a girls name.
• Article 26: Unless he has children, a Bro shall not wear his cell phone on a belt clip.
• Article 27: A Bro never removes his shirt in front of other Bros, unless at a resort pool, the beach or egg splashing.
• Article 28: A Bro will, in a timely manner, alert his Bro to the existance of a girl fight
• Article 29: If two Bros decide to catch a movie together, they may not look at each other during a hot scene, Bro’s must respect the privacy of the other bros.
• Article 30: A Bro doesn’t comparison shop.
• Article 31: When on the prowl, a Bro hits on the hottest chick first because you just never know
• Article 32: A Bro doesnt allow another Bro to get married until hes at least twenty six.
• Article 33 When in a public restroom, a Bro (1) stares straight ahead when using the urinal; (2) makes the obligatory comment, “aaahh, Thand par gaye” if there are more than two dudes waiting to pee; and (3) attempts to shoot his used paper towel into the trash can like a basketball…rebounding is optional.
• Article 34: Bros cannot make eye-contact during a Devil’s Threeway.
• Article 35: A Bro never rents a chick flick
• Article 36 DD: When questioned in the company of women, a Bro always decries fake breasts.
• Article 37: A Bro is under no obligation to open a door for anyone.
• Article 38: Even in a fight to the death a Bro never punches another Bro in the groin.
• Article 40: Should a Bro become stricken with engagement, his Bros shall stage an intervention and attempt to heal him. This is more commonly known as “a bachelor party.”
• Article 41: A Bro never cries (Exceptions- Death of a close one.)
• Article 42: Upon greeting another Bro, a Bro may engage in a high five, fist bump, or a Bro hug, but never a cheek kiss.
• Article 43: A Bro loves his country, unless that country isn’t Pakistan.
• Article 44: A Bro never applies sunscreen to another Bro
• Article 45: A Bro never wears jeans to a strip club
• Article 46: If a Bro is seated next to some dude who’s stuck in the middle seat on an airplane, he shall yield him all of their shared armrest, unlesss the dude has (a) teken his shoes off, (b) is snoring, (c) makes the Bro get up more than once to use the lavatory.
• Article 47: When a Bro gets a chicks number, he waits at least ninety-six hours before calling her.
• Article 48: A Bro never publicly reveals how many chicks he’s banged.
• Article 49: When asked, “Do you need some help?” a Bro shall automatically respond, “I gotit,” whether or not he’s actually got it.
• Article 50: If a Bro should accidentally strike another Bro’s undercarriage with his arm while walking, both Bros silently agree to continue on as if it never happened.
• Article 51: A Bro checks out another Bro’s blind date and reports back with a thumbs-up or thumbs-down
• Article 52: A Bro is not required to remember another Bros birthday, though a phone call every now and again probably wouldn’t kill him
• Article 53: Even in a drought, a Bro flushes twice
• Article 54: A Bro is required to go out with his Bros on First holiday of Semesterand other official Bro hollidays, including New Year’s Eve, and Desperation Day (February 13th)
• Article 55: It is obligatory for all bros to attend the EOGM.
• Article 56: A Bro is required to alert another Bro if the Bro/chick Ration at a party falls below 1:1. However, to avoid Broflation, a Bro is only allowed to alert one Bro. Further, a Bro may not speculate on the anticipated Bro/Chick Ratio of a party or venue without first disclosing the present-time observed ratio.
• Article 57: A Bro never reveals the score of a sporting event to another Bro unless that Bro has thrice confirmed he wants to hear it.
• Article 58: A Bro doesn’t grow a big beard (Unless Bro has gone Islamic)
• Article 59: A Bro must always post bail for another Bro, unless it’s out of state or, like, crazy expensive (Crazy expensive bail >(years you’ve been bros) x $100)
• Article 60: A Bro shall honor there father and mother, for they were once Bro and chick. However, a Bro never thinks of them in that capacity.
• Article 61: If a Bro for whatever reason becomes aware of another Bro’s anniversary with a chick, he shall endeavor to make that information available to his Bro, regardless of whether he thinks his Bro already knows.
• Article 62: In the event that two Bros lock on to the same target, the Bro who calls dibs first has dibs. If both call dibs at the same time, the Bro who counts aloud to ten the fastest has dibs. If both arrive at the number ten at the same time, the Bro who bought the last round of drinks has dibs. If they haven’t purchased drinks yet, the taller of the two Bros has dibs. If they’re the same height, the Bro with the longer dry spell has dibs. Should the dry spells be of equal length, a game of discreet Broshambo* shall determine dibs, provided the chick is still there. *Rock, paper, scissors for Bros.
• Article 63: A Bro will make any and all efforts to provide his Bro with protection
• Article 64: A Bro must provide his Bro with a ticket to an event if said event involves the latter Bro’s favourite sports team in a playoff scenario
• Article 65: A Bro must always reciprocate a round of drinks amoung Bros.
• Article 66: If a Bro suffers pain due to the permanent dissolution of a relationship with a lady friend, a Bro shall offer nothing more than a ‘that sucks, man’ and copious quantities of beer. A Bro will also refrain from pejorative commentary – desered or not – regarding said lady friend for a period of three months, when the requisite BACKSLIDE WINDOW has closed.
• Article 67: Should a Bro pick up a guitar at a party and commence playing, another Bro shall point out that he is a tool.
• Article 68: If a Bro be on hot streak, another Bro will do everything possible to ensure its longevity, even if that includes jeopardizing his own records, the missing of work, or, if necessary, generating a realistic fear that the end of the world is imminent. (Dry spell trumps hot streak)
• Article 69: Duh.
• Article 70: A Bro will drive another Bro to the airport or pick him up, but never both for the same trip. He is not expected to be on time, help with luggage, or inquire about his Bro’s trip or general well-being.
• Article 71: As a courtest to Bros the world over, a Bro will only bring rocketeer Bros to the party.
• Article 72: A Bro never spell-checks.
• Article 73: When a group of Bros are in a restaurant, each shall engage in the time-honored ritual of jockeying to pay the bill, regardless of affordability. When the group ultimately decides to divide the check, each Bro shall act upset rather that enormously relieved.
• Article 74: At a red light, a Bro inches as close as possible to the rear bumper of the car infront of him, and then immediately honks his horn when the light turns green. That way if another Bro is several cars behind, he’ll have a better chance of making it through the intersection before the light turns red again.
• Article 75: A Bro automatically enhances another Bro’s job description when introducing him to a chick.
• Article 76: If a Bro is on the phone with a chick while in front of his Bros and, for whatever reason, desires to say “I love you” he shall first excuse himself from the room or employ a subsonic barry white-esque tone
• Article 77: Bros don’t cuddle infront of chicks.
• Article 78: A Bro shall never rack jack his wingman
• Article 79: At a wedding, Bros shall reluctantly trudge out for the garter toss and feign interest for the benefit of the chicks present. Whichever Bro gets stuck with the garter shall lightheartedly pretend he’s not horrified at the thought of being the next one to drop before scurrying to the bar for a very stiff drink and/or shots.
• Article 80: A bro shall make every effort to aid another Bro in riding the tricycle, short of completing the tricycle himself.
• Article 81: A Bro leaves the toilet seat up for his Bros
• Article 82: If two Bros get into a heated argument over something and one says something out of line, the other shall not expect him to take it back or apologise to make amends. Tha’s inhuman.
• Article 83: A Bro shall, at all costs, honor the Platinum Rule: Never, ever, ever, ever ” love” thy neighbor. In particular, a Bro shall never mix it up romantically with a co-worker unless she’s a classmate.
• Article 84: Bro shall stop whatever he’s doing and watch Baywatch if it’s on TV.
• Article 85: If a Bro buys a new car, he is required to pop the hood when showing it off to his Bros.
• Article 86: When a Bro meets a chick he shall endeavor to find out where she fits on the Hot/Crazy Scale before pursuing her.
• Article 87: A Bro never questions another Bro’s stated masturbations per day, maximum bench press, or height. He can however, ask the Bro to prove it, traditionally in the form of a wager.
• Article 88: If a Bro, for whatever reason must drive another Bro’s car, he shall not adjust the preprogrammed radio stations, the mirrors, or the seat position, even if this last requirement results in the Bro trying to drive the vehicle as a giant praying mantis would.
• Article 89: A Bro shall always say yes in support of a Bro
• Article 90: A Bro shows up at another Bro’s party with at least one more unit of alcohol than he plans to drink. So if a Bro plans on chugging a six pack, he shall bring a six pack plus at least one can of beer. If the party sucks and/or there are too many dudes, the Bro is entitled to leave with his alcohol, though etiquette dictates he should wait until nobody is looking.
• Article 91: If a group of Bros suspect that their Bro is trying to give himself a nickname, they shall rally to call bim by an adjacent yet more demeaning nickname
• Article 92: A Bro keeps his booty calls at a safe distance
• Article 93: Bros don’t speak ‘Yo Engrezi’ to one another
• Article 94: If a Bro is in the bathroom and runs out of toilet paper, another Bro may toss him a new roll, but at no point may their hands touch or the door open more than 30 degrees
• Article 95: A Bro shall alert another Bro to the presence of a chesty woman regardless of whether or not he knows the Bro. Such alerts may not be administered verbally. (The shoes tap, The eye redirect, The swift shin kick *D cups and up only, please*)
• Article 96: Bros shall go camping once a year, or at least attempt to start a fire
• Article 97: Bros cannot be gays.
• Article 98: A Bro never lies to his Bros about the hotness of chicks at a given social venue or event
• Article 99: A Bro never asks for directions when lost
  Exception: A Bro may ask for directions for a hot chick who seems to know the area
  Exception: A Bro may ask for directions from a hot chick even if she also appears lost
  Exception: A Bro may ask for directions from a hot chick even if he is not lost at all.
• Article 100: When pulling up to a stoplight, a Bro lowers his window so that all might enjoy his music selection.
  Corollary: If there happens to be a hot chick driving the car next to the Bro, the Bro shall pull his sunglasses down to get a better look. If he’s not wearing his sunglasses, he will first put them on, then pull them down to get a better look.
• Article 101: If a Bro asks another Bro to keep a secret, he shall take that secret to his grave* This is what makes them Bros, not chicks
  *And beyond if the Bro discovers there is indeed life after death.
• Article 102: A Bro shall take great care in selecting and training his wingman.
• Article 103: A Bro never wears socks with sandals. He commits to one cohesive footgrear plan and sticks with it.
• Article 104: The mom of a Bro is always off-limits. But the stepmom of a Bro is fair game if she initiates and /or is wearing at least one article of leopard print clothing…provided she looks good in it…but not if she smokes menthol cigarettes
• Article 105: If a Bro is not invited to another Bro’s wedding, he doesn’t make a big deal out of it, even if, let’s face it, he was kind of responsible for setting up the couple and had already picked out the perfect wedding gift and everything. Its cool. No big whoop.
• Article 106: Given an option on quantity when ordering a beer with his Bros, a Bro always selects the largest size available or shall never hear the end of it that night
• Article 107: A Bro never leaves another Bro hanging
• Article 108: If a Bro forgets a guy’s name he may call him “brah”,”dude”, or “man” but never “Bro”
• Article 109: When Bros attend a sporting event and see themselves on the JumboTron, they shall purse their lips and flex their biceps while informing the crowd that their team is number one, despite any objective rankings to the contraty.
• Article 110: If a Bro is hitting it off with a chick, his Bro shall do anything within his means to ensure the desired outcome
• Article 111: If a Bro discovers another Bro has forgotten to sign out of his email the Bro will sign out for him, but only after first sending a few angry emails to random cntacts and then deleting all sent messages.
• Article 112: A Bro doesnt sing along to music in a bar.
  Exception: A Bro may participate in karaoke
  Exception to exception: No chick songs
• Article 113: A Bro abides by the accepted age-difference formula when pursuing a young chick
  Acceptable age difference formula
  Chick’s age = Guy’s age divided by 2, + 6
• Article 114: If a Bro must crash on his Bro’s couch for an extended period of time, he shall offer to split the cost of toilet paper and the cable bill if said period exceeds two weeks. If he stays longer than a month, he shall offer to contribute some rent. If he stays longer than two months, he shall sheam clean the couch or have it incinerated, whichever is more applicable
• Article 115: A “clothing optional” beach doesn’t really mean “clothing optional” for Bros
• Article 116: A Bro shall not kill another Bro or a Bros chances to score with a chick
• Article 117: A Bro never willingly relinquishes possession of a remote control. If another Bro desires a channel change, he may verbally request one or engage in the fools errand of getting up to manually change the channel
• Article 118: When a Bro is with his Bros he is not a vegetarian
• Article 119: When three Bros must share the backseat of a car, it is unacceptable for any Bro to sexually arouse another bro.
• Article 120: A Bro always calls another Bro by his nick name.
• Article 121: Rocketeers is an exclusive invite-only club of Bros who determines all other bros.
• Article 122: A Bro is always psyched. Always.
• Article 123: Two Bros shall maintain at least a three-foot radius between them while dancing on the same floor, even when reenacting the knife fight from “Beat It” which, I guess, two Bros shouldn’t do anyway, or at least not very often.
• Article 124: If a Bro should shoot an air ball, strike out while playing softball, or throw a gutter ball while Bowling, he is required to make some sort of excuse for himself.
• Article 125: If a Bro is driving ahead of another Bro in a Bro TRain, he is required to attempt to lose him in traffic as a funny joke.
• Article 126: In a scenario where two or more Bros are watching entertainment of the adult variety, one Bro is forbidden from intentionally or unintentionally touching another Bro in ANY capacity. This may include but is not limited to: the high five, the fist bump or the confratulary gluteal pat. Winking is also kind of a no-no.
• Artricle 127: A Bro will always help another Bro reconstruct the events from the previous night, unless those events entail hooking up with an ugly chick or the Bro repeatedly saying “I love you, man” to all his Bros.
• Article 128: A Bro never wears two articles of clothing at the same time that bear the same school name, vacation destination or sports team. Even in a laundry emergency, its preffered that a Bro go out half naked rather than violate this code…half naked from the waist up, naturally.
• Article 129: If a Bro lends another Bro a DVD, video game, or piece of laawn machinery, he shall not expect to ever get it back, unless his Bro happens to die and bequeath it back to him.
• Article 130: If a Bro learns another Bro has been in a traffic accidident, he must first ask what type of car he collided with and whether it got totaled before asking if his Bro is okay.
• Article 131: While a Bro is not expected to know exactly how to change a tire, he is required to at least drag out the jack and stare at the flat for a while. If he needs to consult the car’s ownership manual to locate the jack, he shall do so from inside the car, where he is not visible to passersby and where he can discreetly call a tow truck, after which it is recommended that he hide the jack by the side of the road so he’ll have a legitimate excuse when the tow truck arrives.
• Article 132: If a Bro decides to let all of his Bros down and get married, he is required to invite them to the wedding, even if this directly violates the wishes of his fiancée and results in a “no ex” penalty or whatever lame domestic punishment couples might employ
• Article 133: A Bro only claims a fart after first accusing at least one other Bro.
• Article 134: A Bro is entitled to use a woman as his wingman
• Article 135: If a scenario arises in which a Bro has promised two of his Bros permanent shotgun, one of the following shall determine the copitot: (1) foot race to the car, (2) silent auction or in the case of a road trip exceeding 450 miles, (3) a no-holds-barred cage match to the death.
• Article 136: When interrogated by a girlfriend about a bachelor party, a Bro shall offer nothing more than an uninterested “It was okay”
• Article 137: When hosting, a Bro orders enough pizza for all his Bros
• Article 138: A real Bro doesn’t laugh when a guy gets hit in the groin.
  Exception: Unless he doesn’t know the guy.
• Article 139: Regardless of veracity, a Bro never admits familiarity with a Broadway show or musical, despite the fact that, yes, “Broadway” begins with “Bro”
• Article 140: A Bro reserves the right to simply walk away during the first five minutes of a date. (Lemon Law)
• Article 141: A Bro can only get a manicure if he’s trying to sleep with the hot woman performing the manicure
• Article 142: A Bro shall seek no revenge if he passes out around his Bros and wakes up to find marker all over his face.
• Article 143: When executing a high five a bRo is forbidden from intertwining fingers of grasping his Bro’s hand
• Article 144: It is unacceptable for two Bros to share a hotel bed without first exhausting all couch, cot, and pillows-on-floor combinations. If it’s still unavoidable, they shall prevent any incidental spoonage by arm wresting to determine who sleeps under the covers. Once decided each Bro shall don as many lower layers as possible before silently fist bumping the other good night.
• Article 145: A Bro is never offended if another Bro fails to return a phone call, text or email in a timely fashion
• Article 146: A Bro refrains from using too much detail when relating sexual exploits to his Bros
• Article 147: If a Bro sees another Bro get into a fight, he immediately has his Bro’s back
  Exception: If his Bro has picked a fight with a scary looking guy
  Exception: If this is the third fight (or more) his Bro has gotten into that week)
  Exception: If the Bro has a note from a physician excusing him from having anybody’s back
• Article 148: A Bro doesnt listen to chick music…in front of other Bros. When alone, a Bro may listen to, say, a Avril Lavinge album or two, but only to gain valuable insights into the female psyches, not because he finds her melodies tragically haunting yet curiously uplifting at the same time.
• Article 149: A Bro pretends to understand and enjoy cigars
• Article 150: No sex with you Bro’s ex

The Architects of Our Own Demise…

We saw the things to come, in their true shape, in their true colors. Yet we did nothing to prepare for it. We just stood. At the same point as we always did. We were too proud to actually change. In our minds there was nothing else to be done. We were the top of the food chain. We were not a ‘spent force’, we were the kings and the king makers.

We were engrossed in our own spent thrift lives. In our obsessions with power. We were so wrapped up in ourselves that we didn’t see how the entire system, the entire order that we were so damn proud of was just waiting to burst from inside. And burst with such a degree that even if we wanted to cry beyond our pride we would not be able to because of the intensity of the aftermath.

We were blind. Blinded by ‘fool’s gold’. Blinded by the roads and paths shown to us by the workers of hell. Greed, it was killing us from inside and were enjoying it like sick junkies.

Piece by piece of the reality we were living by was being destroyed. Destroyed by our own laid out plans. Unwittingly we were designing a master proof plan to put us all into a nose diving crash. A crash from which little would survive over the long run. From which those who do survive will never recover.

We hoped , we believed. Unfortunately as stupidly as those who believe rocks are the holders of their fate. Pathetic creatures. And we used to call ourselves the kings and king makers. We were the top of the food chain? That’s a questionable chain then.

Elites we were. Nothing could touch us. We breathed in a different level of air. We were beyond reach of misery , beyond the reach of the Heavens even!

How foolish we were. And how anarchic was everything associated with us because it was all bound for that nose diving crash. That step by step guide of self destruction. We orchestrated it , we designed it. Hell we were the architects of it. And now we have left behind a world in spiral in our wake.

Ode to us, the elite, the privileged. To us who could have steered the ship well, but rather were busy cutting off the lifeboats.   

Cricket: Afridi is our future….

Yes… I know … the moment you read the title you probably thought I am stark raving mad. That the state of cricket in our country is already in shambles and I am promoting an idea for a sure shot way towards becomming cricketing minnows. I am sure most of you experienced feelings along the same lines if not exactly these. And you probably have every right to be. I mean … I am after all suggesting that Afridi should be made captain of the team. ( I hope all of you got this from the title… because if you didn’t !… then .. ahem ahem) ….

Anyway, I must not digress. I am writing something on cricket and that too Pakistan Cricket after a long time. But please don’t think it was triggered by our ‘Series Whitewash win over the West Indies’. Of course not. Please. I have been suffering and constantly been dissappointed as a completely loyal Paki Cricket fan for a very long time now to suddenly jump on the band wagon of celebrations.

Shoaib Malik didn’t pull any miracles. Neither did the PCB. Sure there were positives from the series, but let us not forget that the ‘ONCE’ great WI do nto currently measure up anywhere near to the days of the the West Indies of old. Not even the West Indies of the 90’s. Hence … I really don’t think we should start singing praises for the team just yet. It’s been almost a decade now since we had a decent opening pair. Ever since the Opening pair of Aamir Sohail and Saeed Anwer changed…. Pakistan’s top order has been somewhat inconsistent …. and also constantly changed. Our balling attack seems to be constantly dropping … with a glimmer of hope from time to time… only to be bathed and dripped with dampness of Scandals and Corruption.

Shoaib Malik ..as much as I used to like him as a decent handy player… who could contribute with the ball and bat both….. has dissappointed me as a captain much more than that. He has no ‘presence’ as a captain. He’s not dynamic. He lacks the hunger , spirit and fire of a captain. And most of all … there is absolutely no aggression. The guy is always like he’s on a defensive. ( And please keep in mind the opponents he has played so far as a captain). He’s got no spine as a captain. Especially not against serious and tough teams. For crying out loud the guy didn’t ball against SL when he balled against Bangladesh. That’s the most ridiculous thing. it’s not like he’s a Full Time Batsmen and a Part Time Baller. He’s a proper baller. No Spine!

But I am not going to continue ranting about Shoaib Malik and making a case for why he shouldn’t be kept as captain. I am rather hoping that the PCB see that for themselves. And hopefully they will with the addition of Miandad as Director of Cricket and Abdul Qadir as National Selector.

I am hoping that PCB will look towards two possible choices and both for different reasons. Either Misbah. Or either Afridi. Now Misbah, because he seems like a smart guy. He’s got a good brain on his shoulders. A thinking brain. So he could probably do well as a strategist. Tactician. Best for Test Cricket no doubt. And well considering the fact that he is the vice captain.. seems more likely that he will be nominated as the captain by the PCB next year. (Correct if I am wrong about him being the VC).

The second choice… and I would actually prefer this choice is Afridi. He’s made himself a regular in the team despite his batting style/performance/attitude. And thats because he’s earned his spot. He’s been one of our more consistent and well performing ballers for the past 2 or so years. His energy is amazing on the field. And he’s constantly buzzing about keeping everyone alive, as much as he can given his current capacity. His batting is something that everyone has a problem with. Well I say that’s the way he’s built. No one really made any strong fucking effort when he came back in 1996 because of his legnedary Century. and now, almost after 12 years…. you have a problem with his Batting style. Ever heard of the expression ‘You can’t teach an old dog new tricks!’ ? Well the same applies here and more so. So forget his batting. Besides… he is being utilzed right now as a very low order batsmen. So before questioning his batting … please… focus on the TOP ORDER and the MIDDLE ORDER.

I firmly believe that Afridi if made the Captain will be able to bring the fire, desire and hunger that this team needs. He will be able to make this team stand up and take other teams head on…. and he will attack. He will have the tenacity and the aggression. The aggression that I am dying to see in our side once again.And please don’t write him off as a dumb cricketer either. I can assure you he has a fantastic cricketing brain. As a baller and on the field. And he is seasoned. 12 years. He’s the most experienced player in the side right now. He has learnings from his past. He’s played against the Aussies, the Indians, Sri Lankans, the Proteas, Black Caps etc etc.

I sincerely believe that Afridi is the man for the job. He’s our only way forward and in my opinion very easily one of our more logical choices.

Free-fall

It is important to read the following before I start. This incident was forwarded to me on email, and sadly… there is no element of shock left in me over these sort of things….. just the sadness that prevails.

A 30yr old guy went out for dinner with his wife n 3 sisters to BBQ-2nyte at around 8:30pm…he had parked his car near the Nissan showroom….the restaurant had the usual hustle bustle of this peak time n their car was surrounded by many others…after dinner as soon as they got back into their car, a corolla with tinted windows stopped right next to their car, a man came out n asked them to give them whatever cash, jewelry they had—they did as they were told, hoping that the gang would go away as soon as they get sum valuables. but that’s not what happened- …..After the “corolla-guy” got cash n sum jewelry, he asked the man to give him one of the 4 women he had with him..(3 sisters n his wife) …the man was dumbstruck!!…he said that these were his wife n sisters they were talking about-…upon his resistance, they snatched away his wife, bundled her in to their car n drove off. The helpless man could not do anything to save his wife from these ruthless, disgusting people—he just smashed his head with a huge stone he found nearby n died on the spot. n there has been no news of his abducted wife.

Our country is in a state of free-fall. Free-fall by definition is only attributed to physics. But our society,economy, and all other systems that are part and parcel of a country and nation are very much in free-fall. We are constantly falling with no direction but downward, being pulled by the gravity of the ‘real’ world to crash. Imagine when we will eventually crash. And that’s not a joke, it is inevitable if this nation does not learn from it’s mistakes. How many more incidents like the above one must we see before we realize we have to act. Before we realize we have to wake up. Or are we just waiting for something like this happening to us so that we become helpless.

We have to realize that just constantly blaming the government for all its misgivings is not going to help. No one is going to do anything about it. We have to act ourselves. Create our own fortunes and not wait for someone to come with a magic wand and grant us 3 wonderful wishes. The law and order situation is responsibility of the authorities. So instead of taking out protests over the countless meetings and committees created for the ‘Judicial Crisis’ of Pakistan, why weren’t we out there demanding better measures of law in this country. Are we so lost that we are skipping the part where the law is being broken to the part where the felon ( if caught ) is tried by who we think is the ‘rightful’ chief justice of Pakistan. We should have demanded a better police. We should have demanded better accountability of the law enforcement agencies. We should be demanding that the government and all it’s partners in crime actually focus on making the lives of the citizens it serves more safe and secure.

Are we so blind? Can we not see the free-fall of this country? And it’s not just the law and order situation and not just things that we demand from the government. There are other social issues as well. The basics of being a civilized society. We are as a nation unruly. And sadly that goes doubly so for the ‘ELITE’ of this nation.

I am fucking tired of writing sad stuff about our country… so don’t think I get a kick out of this. But I am also tired of the attitude of this nation. I appeal to the people who read this, and who feel they are in a position to do something, to act. I appeal for them to act. For all I can do now is write. I am not in a position right now where I can do anything useful. And no one has any idea of how much I wish I was. I don’t lust the power. I hate it. But I am fucking tired of reading and constantly hearing about the innocent who keep suffering.

Another example of this nation being asleep and absolutely not bothered about fixing it’s own flaws was given in the article published as the cover story of this week’s Review Magazine of Dawn. Please read it. It’s yet another horrific reminder of things we already know but either ignore or are too lost to care about. And that’s just … pathetic.

The Motions of Escape

It’s become sort of a habit now. A ritual we must go through at least 4 times a week. Stories collected from far and wide of this city and this country. These are stories of murder, robberies, shootings, kidnappings etc. Recent past has shown these stories growing in number and also in the state of their morbidity. The recent past of these stories shows a reflection of how our society is decorating.

Kids have started identifying other kids in their schools who are rich and worth the effort of kidnapping for ransom. Not just friends mind you, in certain cases relatives, even first cousins. This is what our society has become. Bullets and murder is fast becoming an immune part of the structural set up of this younger generation. A generation I am not that far away from in age. But sadly miles apart in culture.

Kidnappings have started resulting in the immediate killings of the victims primarily because of the fact that their relatives or close ones were involved. I heard a story tonight of how a kid who just got enrolled in the first semester of my university was kidnapped and murdered and then dumped in Phase 8 DHA Karachi. Another story of a similar nature resulted in the victim being killed, chopped and then the mutilated remains being presented on the door step of the family.

Why is it that our society is consistently hitting all time new lows? It can’t just be because of frustration and desperation that people are forced to commit crime, felons and unspeakable acts of inhumanity. Not when kids are involved from good backgrounds. It’s not just a point of absolute no return in all cases. It is also this decorating sense of values and a decorating culture.

Getting back to the ritual that we go through (by we I mean my family), the stories are then followed by an analysis of how things are getting worse and worse and how it would be good to be on board, everyone of us, on designing and making an escape route. Exit strategy would be more like it. An uncle of mine asked me to have a session with him one day soon on the situation of this country. So that he can convince me to go now, out of the country, to a safer haven and return when the situation of the country is better. I personally don’t think he even believes that the situation will improve in that time or in any time soon.

The motions have started for a lot of well off and affluent people to make their plans, scout out properties and possible opportunities abroad to make their ‘move’. A move to a safer future.

Rationality perhaps demands and persuades many to follow suit. Rationality tells you to do the sensible thing. To make the wise choice and decision. Rationality tells me all of the same things. But then, rationality is not supposed to be based around one thing in isolation. It’s not like if it professes one thing, it doesn’t exist for another. Somehow, this rational comes to me, explains me everything. But then there exists rationality in my mind. A rationality which goes against the motions of planning an escape route.

I have said it before. And I have come to the conclusion that I’ll say many more times to come. I don’t know why. Maybe because so far I have been fortunate enough only to have experienced one personal gun point robbery. Of course I have my close family who has experienced it as well. But I have only had one experience so maybe that’s why it doesn’t take a hold of me as much to go abroad. Maybe it’s because I have always lived in comfort in my country. Mostly remaining untouched by the various jolts going and coming in society and the economy. Maybe because I was any army kid so the sense of loyalty and passion and love for the country is a bit stronger than other people. Maybe it’s because I am still young at 23, fire in eyes and blood. A raging love inside. And an innocent sense of noble righteousness. I don’t know.

Whatever the reason for it but the rational that takes hold of me more than the more common well founded one is to stay here. To stay here because, if everyone who wasn’t a crook and had a clean slate left, or started leaving, then this country will absolutely go to the dogs. To stay here because, I still believe in myself and in my passion enough to sense that I will, somehow, some way do something to help people in this country. Even if it’s a little thing. I will be able to do something. Maybe it’s a sense of not having really had the opportunity to try yet to play a role. To stay here and fight. Fight someway or the other for just ice. For humanity. To stay here and appeal to the greater good of mankind.

Do I have a plan? No. I don’t. But I believe that I am justified in not having a plan. I am 23. What would have I done before? Left my studies and tried to do something I wouldn’t have been able to achieve and then hurt both my cause and my set of values? I couldn’t do that. By completing my education I do believe I have given myself a better chance for being able to achieve a change. A change in that I hold dear. So no, I don’t have a plan. But I know that given the time, I have it in me to do something. Anything. Anything that will help. Even if I am able to achieve 1/100000000th of a difference. You want to know why even such a minor change will be ok? Well not ok but why such a minor change also convinces me to stay? Because that will be a start. I don’t think everything good starts with a bang. I believe sometimes you have to keep pitching in little by little to make something big. To change the world.

I suppose I am hell bent on this rationality. Not the one more commonly found among people and well founded no doubt. I don’t call people who want to leave selfish. I don’t say they are doing a wrong thing. They are making their choice, and I believe that I want to make mine.

Our Burning Plight

The Marriot Hotel in Islamabad was the latest venue of a terrorist attack in Pakistan. Till now the death count is at 40, and the hotel is engulfed in flames with 15 people reportedly trapped inside. The army has been called in for the rescue efforts. 

My brother usually stays at that hotel when he is in Islamabad for work. Diplomats and foreigners are also the usual residents in that hotel and the security arrangements have always been completely ‘beefed up’. Yet somehow they managed to bomb that place. 

The people, who have been killed, must include by and large the security guards and other staff of the hotel. These are people who are working on the wages of 6000 to 12000 a month. For the so called ‘jihadists’ and the Taliban my question is that are these your targets? If they are then they continue to prove themselves as nothing but barbaric terrorists with no understanding of the religion under whose Flag they perform their so called Jihad. 

Innocent people’s lives are lost in such attacks. People who have nothing to do with the affairs of running the country or dealing with other policies such as being part of the ‘war on terrorism’. What good does it do to kill them? What good for that matter does it do to kill anyone? Nothing more than giving the Americans more and more reason to continue to infringe our borders with their drone missiles and other strikes which also ironically results in the casualties of civilians more often than not. 

Bad intelligence, lack of regard and focus on issues which are detrimental to Pakistan and its existence is always going to result in bad things. Our President fresh from his laurels of winning the coveted title distracted my thought process for the past few days from the terrorism inside our country. I was caught up in what’s and ifs of the future under him. This was a cold reminder of the continuing problem in our country of a lack of security for anyone. No one is safe. 

My blog so far might seem very disconnected and somewhat vague and lost. But it is merely a result of continued and consistent depression at the decorating situation in our country. The economic factors are weak. The finances of the country are grim. The world over the finance situation is also grim given the events of the past week including the bankruptcy of Lehman Brothers, and the near same fate of AIG. However I digress. Right now it’s a question of the countless lives lost over the past so many years in these terrorist attacks and bombings and the increasing rate of suicide bombings. Innocent lives. People who were just going about their business. 

Where is the fault? Why is there such an increased number of people willing to kill themselves and others in the process in the name of false aspirations? Because these people, the ‘militants’ and the ‘taliban’, the soldiers in these outfits are brainwashed. Brainwashed by men who are so weakened and overwhelmed in the face of their own greed and desire that morality does not exist in their worlds. And the soldiers who are brainwashed are mostly young kids and men who probably either didn’t know any better or were unfortunate enough not to have any other avenue in their sight. Or at least they weren’t shown any other avenue. 

There is an increased need in my mind to sort and seek avenues other than the use of force, and the use of ‘diplomatic dialogue’. First of all, this is our country, and no one should be allowed to conduct any operation inside our boundaries, on our lands, against our people. Secondly, we need to desperately realize the fierce urgency of now and act on it. Act on factors which we are letting slip away from our hands. This will no doubt contribute in the future to making things more and more worse, leaving many a common man desperate and frustrated. 

Education, justice, humanity and the welfare of all citizens is a must. A means of survival is also a must. It is not only the duty of our sad excuses of leaders and federation to work at these but also of us, the citizens of this nation. We can’t just continue living off it until we are conveniently untouched and not bothered. Or rather let’s say till we are in our comfort zones. We must rise to the occasion of building this nation and its future. We must act. Ensure some sort of accountability on those who we have given the power to run the macro level affairs of this country. We must contribute towards building our societies in a manner which is progressive and productive. Till when will we remain in the clouds of ignorance? Only to be touched just a slight bit and the scoot off to the best possible exit route out of this country? If that’s the plan everyone’s following then there’s no use waiting. We are all done for anyway. 

 

Why So Serious?

Yes …. .I just saw the ‘Dark Knight’ … I gave in. I couldn’t wait for the cinema to show it. Although … I wouldn’t mind going and seeing it again on the big screen. It was a great movie. The action sequences might not have been as dazzling as lets say … the 500% hard to believe ‘The Wanted’ like…. but they were still pretty amazing. And .. yes…. the man… that we all wanted to see in his last role … in his ‘legendary’ performance… which will no doubt be acclaimed by the Oscars….. has done …a fucking amazing job. As Barney (From How i met your mother) would put it, ‘it was legen…. wait for it …….daaaarrrryy!!!’ .  But anyway.. so yea.. the title is such because i saw the bat yesterday. Thats that. Now on to the actual post.

We have quitely entered a new age. An age where people are actually asking ‘Is becoming a crook a way to become president one day.’ or the rather more non-humorous types would say ‘ Congratulations Pakistan. Now go fuck yourself over what you did. Or wait…. you’ve already arranged for that to happen to you.’

We are in an age … where a man, with criminal records, a term in prison… a suspect in murder cases including that of his own brother in law. And of course an un discussed suspect in the murder of his wife, the Late BB. A man who has corruption charges starting from his toes all the way upto his last and highest strand of hair. Yes. Mr. Asif Ali Zardari is the new President of Pakistan. ‘Aaj mohtarma kaa khwaab jamhooriat kaa… pura huwa’ … fantastic isn’t it? But then perhaps this will account for ‘Why so serious?’ . This sounds like a pretty good damn reason to be serious.

Or the fact that the US has stepped up its incursions inside Pakistan’s borders in their hunt for militants. The FATA region is constantly prones to US Drones attacks, missile attacks etc etc. Our Army Chief, kudos to him, has quite firmly said that Pakistan will at all costs. The Prime Minister has backed his army on this. The US has said nothing as to the ‘Rules of Engagement’. Our sovereignty is under immense threat and question. That’s why so serious.

Our Inflation rate has reached 24% …. our food inflation is more than 35%. Thats why so serious. Robberies, Kidnapping and murders are at a climbing rate. That’s why so serious. The job markets are slightly tightening. The financials of the country are tightning. Thats why so serious. The common man is beign crushed under the pillars of this worlds society and economic structure.. that’s why so serious.

A great man once said that his country must fully understand and acknowledge ‘the urgency of now!’. That’s what Pakistan has to realize. That’s what Pakistan should have realized quite some time back ideally but then again we don’t live in an ideal world. The only path to having a shot at glory and being proud of the country in recent times was cricket. Well sort of anyway. When we would lets say do the obvious and win against Bangladesh? But right now, even that is at it’s lowest. No one will come play in Pakistan. Security is just too much of an issue. Let alone the foreigners, it’s a problem and an issue for ourselves. The citizens and the residents of this country. That’s why so serious.

I know of late I have simply been writing low and depressing stuff for the country, but well, thats what’s the situation is right now. And you can’t do much more about it. We have to face the reality. And hold it smack in front of our faces so that we do ‘realize the urgency of now’. This country needs leaders. And there won’t be a leader to come from the heavens. We have to breed the leaders from amongst us. We have to fix ourselves and then maybe a leader will rise. For he will then see a great nation which deserves to be lead to greatness. But currently that’s nowhere on the horizon. That’s why so serious.

I believe. And I will continue to believe. But how much faith I have left in that belief.. is something I don’t know right now.

Oh and also, we don’t know when SCRUBS IS EVER GOING TO END .. .THATs also WHy so Serious!

Pakistan… at 61

It’s getting imensely difficult and depressing constantly defending my nation. And not just against other people, but my own self. I’ve always made it clear in simple , complex or complicated terms, however you want to take it, that I love my country. I love it. But honestly it’s getting difficult to give myself even a logical and rational reason behind it. First it used to be just the corrupt politicians, and the society’s flaws were always there in the backdrop. But not so blatantly out there. Now it’s nothing like that. Our own deeds have manifested this current situation. Not just the so called ‘Leaders’.

Our media, is more politically charged, more politically obsessed rather then giving just that… News. It’s not giving news anymore. Its giving propoganda. GEO Started running a reel of a mock poem which insulted the Ex-President and his supporting ‘Q’ League. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve never appreciated these tactics employed by them even when they were applied for persons I detest and am not just dissappointed in.  This is an act of irresponsible media.

Our society, has increased robberies, murders, kidnappings etc. Shots are being fired constantly every night in certain neighborhoods. Every night. Interestingly robbers used to carry TT’s or Pistols before. They’ve decided to shift to AK’s. Some people I know, one of them a guy of 27, was heading to his valima, before he, his elder brother, new bride, bhabi and younger sister were held up by AK’s in the middle of traffic. And the robbers due to unfathomable reasons for a lack of patience of 3 seconds even, fired shots. The groom was on the ventilator for 2 days.

The elite of our nation, the rich society. They display even more and more disorderliness with each passing day. They are breaking lights. Ramming cars into innocent bystanders or other car drivers. Speeding. Causing wreckless damage. Engaged in all sorts of illegal crap.

Our law, is so busy with their protests that cases which were already held up for long periods of time are further delayed. Furhter cases are getting piled up. People who would probably be sentenced to 1 year or few months for their crimes, end up spending 5 or more years in prison waiting for their hearing.

Senators of our country merely say that an act of burying 3 women alive when they wished to marry of their own choice is a ‘tradition of our province….’ . A tradition! It is a henious crime. And he who condones it is an even bigger and more barbaric criminal.

Country’s refuse to come play sports in our country. Cricket ( the only refute for the common man for hope of some glory for this nation we call Pakistan ), died in Pakistan recently. Or suffered as severe set back. Whatever you want to call it. Teams felt strongly about their security in a country where the residents themselves are not safe and refused to participate in the Champions Trophy if it was held in Pakistan. As a result of which the event has been postponed till next year.

Bribery has not just remained a flaw in the system. It’s no longer a choice. It’s a lifestyle. Some would argue with me, and rightly so perhaps, that it was always a lifestyle post XYZ’s era.

I am actually afraid of an era where our country’s President, even if the post is made merely ceremonial, could possibly be a man like Asif Ali Zardari. The man who chose to ditch his own family name in the name of politics. A man who has constantly been linked with corruption charges since the early 90’s or even earlier perhaps. A man who apparently has $60 Million in a Swiss account which is un accounted for. A man who has claims of doctors of him being mentally ill looming on his head.

There is a grave danger of our northern regions being over run by the Taliban. The barbaric cult which ultimately doomed Afghanistan. Again a manifestation of our own policies. Our own culture. Our own doing.

I still want to hope. I still want to believe. But when you are facing the current situation it becomes harder for you to convince yourself even. I am still going to pray.  I am praying that after 61 years of this country being mismanaged by it’s leaders, misused by the fortunate citizens and being made a victim of barbaric people and frustrated people, that someone will rise, someone will bring about a change. Someone has to. Change won’t come itself. Someone has to start it. Even if a little change, in a little thing, is a start. As long as it’s a permanent change.

Please remind me if I’ve missed out on anything. Sad as it may seem, I might just have.

Karachi Monsoon

The monsoons have finally arrived. And that too in dramatic fashion. It is quite fitting a day for the monsoons to have started in our very own city of lights ( or no lights … or hypothetical lights ). The biggest power breakdown of the summer, the SBP giving a stern message to the government in the monetary policy speech ( that the government has to retire 84 Bil Debt this financial year and no more borrowing! ), have dug up roads and half closed rain drains, and the all glorius force of nature that is the wet and the wind i.e. the Monsoon. Quite the theme, and again, quite fitting. It was almost theatrical. Even so much that it the monsoon made a pleasant knock on our doors in the afternoon before the full blast in the evening. There were sprinkles of droplets in the sunshine with people actually thinking that someone had dropped water from one of the flats above!.

So what now ? The techical fault for the day was yet another tripping. I was beggining to wonder where all the trippings from last year had dissappeared to. And now that the rain has started, the KESC in all it’s humanity, decided to turn off lights during that period so as to avoid any casualties dure to short wires or wires fallen in the inevitable pools of water, waiting to electrocute their next victim. And to top it of, KESC wasn’t getting / isn’t getting any electricity from WAPDA. For whatever reasons.

I don’t think we need to get into a blame game here. The culprits are pretty much obvious, at least to me anyway. The government, the coalition partners and the lawyers for keeping up the fantastically long running drama of the Judiciary, while energy problems, and food problems, and oil prices and inflation in general continues going up without being properly or sincerely addressed. This is, according to the Acting President of the Sindh PML-N, a ‘glorious’ opportunity for the nation to rid itself from future martial laws and army interference and that of course such ‘glorious’ opportunities should not be just dealt with in haste. They should be stretched out till the economy actually crumbles. Till people dying of hunger actually reaches a hyper number. I am sorry sir, with all due respect this is not a glorious opportunity for any such thing. The mandate by which you came into this power you have already let down by persistently being after the judiciary and the impeachment. Two things I can assure you will have no fricking impact whatsoever in helping with the real problems of this country and this economy.

But I digress. For I don’t want to get into the shambles that is our country’s leadership. I was talking about the culprits. The goverment as I mentioned for the growing energy crisis. The DHA, in all it’s splendor for starting something in a way which was always going to be impossible for them to finish off, and create double the problems come the rain season. Well the rains started today, and a fresh digging was taking place today at Zamzama. What more can I say. Karachi city planning division. And by divisiong I really mean division. Our Nazim, Mustafa Kamal, in most press conferences emerging out of crisis situations, has to half the time explaing to people that those areas are not under his jurisdiction. This city has 14 jurisdictions apparently. KPT, DHA, Nazim etc. Now how can there be any coordinated development work in a city which has 14 various agnecies looking after the jurisdiction of various areas. Shahra-e-Faisal alone is divided amongst 6. He is absolutely right to say that put it all under me and then if something happens put my head to task. I agree with him and feel sorry for him. Because of this problem and the obvious inefficiency of the other agencies in doing their jobs, his good work is always overshadowed by a lot of people. The city cannot move in the right direction in this way. It just doesn’t happen.

The rains are now bound to start in the fashion where it’s almost non-stop. Half the roads are dug up. The drains are not complete. The roads are still going to flood, only with mud and wet slippery conditions as well making matters more the worse. And the energy problem is only going to increase. Again, quite a thematic, theatrical and fitting way for the monsoons to arrive in our very own city of lights ( or no lights … or hypothetical lights or maybe even candle light…).