Rise Pakistan….

We fight in the north with a self construed virus. Every day the number of IDP’s grow. There are millions of people whose life is torn apart. From whom everything has been taken away. And yet…. they still have nowhere to turn. The relief camps have been set up. The army is fighting and pushing hard. But its still not enough to win a war which goes far beyond the defeat of the Taaliban ( God knows when that will happen). People are dying of hunger, disease and other dangers. I saw on DAWN News today of one camp where there is a severe lack of security arrangements. Intruders are coming in at whim, threatening IDPs and creating more panic. The Police recovered some mines from one of the camps. Things are very bad. Zardari isn’t lying (One of the rare occasions) when he says that the current amount of aid pledges made to win this war are hardly enough. They aren’t. With all this current plight of the people of the north, what is the most startling to see… is the absence of a united nation.

I fail to see what the entire nation is doing to help their brethren. There is a lack of urgency as was there at the time of the 2005 Earthquake. There is not enough urgency in the relief efforts or the mobilization to get everyone behind a motivated front to help, to contribute. Maybe its a different economic setting. But that is hardly reason enough. This is a very crucial time in the country’s history. We are fighting a virus which might very well have been allowed to spread too much and question the existence and survival of Pakistan. This is a grave situation and hardly anyone seems to realize it. Hardly anyone seems to bother. And what’s more is that this WILL affect the entire nation more then that earthquake ( NOT trying to put down one tragedy for another).

It is shocking. It is sad. And it is fact. We are not as mobile. We are not as united. We are not getting behind what is a necessity to be done now. We are simply not doing our share to help.

IF there was ever a time in the modern history of Pakistan to rise, this is it. It is significant that we rise. We rise to our capabilities and do our bits to help. To help fight this war far beyond the defeat of the Taliban. The war will certainly not end there. The IDPs will have to rehabilitated. Their homes rebuilt. Their lives rekindled. And this nation, the people of this land, we must unite now and we must rise. We have to stand up for this nation, for it’s survival, for our identities to be forged in the manner and expectation of the ideals upon which Pakistan was made. On the backs of the sacrifices that have been made in the past and are still made by a rare few.

My appeal is simple – merely sending out messages or writing stuff like I’ve is not enough. I am not hoping to start a revolution of writing on the web with this. (I am not a hypocrite… I know when I am part of the bad lot). I am hoping that maybe I too will be able to do something much more then this tomorrow but along with that most of you who read this will also do so. Shazia Marri announced that 150 Trucks will be going to the aid of the north. How can we help? How can we donate? Where do we donate? Where to do we chip in with the manpower to make sure that all of the donations that do come in can go as soon as possible?

I pray to Allah to help the people of Swat and other affected areas in their time of need. May Allah keep us all in his blessed protection. 

Wish for disaster…

It seems like I’ve hit a dead end in life. I can’t seem to find a way forward and the way back is already tormented me to pieces. I feel like this floating body in water where I am not really in control of where I am going. The flow is just taking me itself. The dead end is … my control over my own things.

5 years on from where I started and certainly don’t feel like I am at the junction I imagined myself to be. Maybe that’s because its just the starting phase of the new journey. Or maybe because these last 5 years have been maligned by single focused thoughts and day dream distractions. The last 5 years have not been spent in the right kind of soul searching. Rather the more whimsical kind.

Is this really something that I wanted to do or was I taken in by the charms of ‘entitlements’ and the grape vine factor? I really have to ask myself that question. But now I am too afraid. What if it’s too late? I am already on the next journey…. I am already someplace I can’t get out of soon. I am already trapped and confined to borders I wanted to be far away from. I’ve already let my control slip away slowly and slowly.

Its too soon to be in a sort of a ‘rut’ feeling. And I know I have that at times and I know that is not good. I feel helpless. 

So much so every now and then I find myself actually imagining myself in some sort of a mishap. An accident. A disaster. A tragedy. I almost find myself wishing for it. For the lack of any other plausible escape my mind wanders to creating the necessity for escape at a very high price. Not only in physical terms. But also one that I might just end up paying with my morality, my self worth.

But it will mean escape. Escape from where I am right now. It might just end up in a permanent escape, such a dangerous wish. I know I will never act on it. I should be saying ‘I HOPE’ thou.

Sometimes what you wish for doesn’t come true and then you immediately start wishing for something else. This wish at times can be a rebound wish. Works in the same manner and principle as that of a ‘rebound relationship’. And it really doesn’t out to be that pretty. And since you been through some stuff or are in it with someone you feel obligated to, you end up being trapped. And that’s when you end up wishing for disaster. Pathetic.

Maybe if I can just let some time ride by. Maybe if I could just hang in for a little bit. Maybe then a rational or rather a plausible escape will come my way. Just maybe.