Of Heart & Mind….

  There are many points in time in your life when you are heading down a path that you’ve been on before. Maybe once, maybe twice or maybe a whole bunch of times. You’ve experienced that path before and know it’s pros and cons, ups and downs. Yet… something tends to draw it to you again and again. Even if it didn’t work out before, you are still always drawn to the notion of taking that path. And more often then not, you do end up taking it. If for nothing else, perhaps because its familiar to you and that keeps you clinging to it in hopes that this time it just might work out because you’ve learned how to tread the road in the past. You’ve learned of the ditches and the obstacles that are there.

What people don’t account for in such a case is that the more we learn how to tread , we only go further on that path and encounter further obstacles that we didn’t before since we were knocked out on the previous ones which we just managed to cross.

And at times, even though that obstacle is perfectly passable, we just tend to let it go because … well lets face it , the amount of times that option pursued and the amounts of time its not worked out , everyone and your own brain judges you and passes on their 2 cents. Now as we get older, we lose the patience to listen to everybody’s 2 cents. “Hey I am mid 30s you know… i know what I am doing”.

But that’s the thing. God gives us chances to rectify our mistakes. And maybe that’s such things keep coming back on our radar. Those things we’ve tried before but at some point in time during it we failed. They keep coming up on our minds, our thought processes because … we haven’t tried at it properly and fully. And if we don’t , maybe we are screwing up a perfectly good chance for ourselves.

So why not ? Why not go in there with your all that you’ve learned and really give it a shot?

We also tend to lose faith and confidence in ourselves, and in our ability to achieve what lies at the end of the road. Rejection, failure can only be taken constructively and optimistically for so long. We are after all humans and humans are after all emotional creatures. And this way we continue fighting our inner battles. Inside our head. The debates keep going on and on. They never stop. They last forever it seems.

In my case …. my heart goes one way and the brain goes the other, leaving the mind and soul in between to draw something from the difference. In the past I’ve always listened to my heart. Inevitably that decision has let me down. For me this is the path that keeps coming up on my radar again and again. So .. what to do now ? Do I take it as a sign that listening to my heart is the right thing to do and continue to follow that principle, or shun it aside and actually listen to the brain for once? Because with me you can be absolutely sure that the mind and the soul are just as indecisive as the next person; rather in this case ‘organ’.

In the book ‘The Alchemist’ , the writer portrays the philosophy that The heart is but made from the same hand which made this world and hence the soul of the world and the heart are one and the same and they eventually meet. While these weren’t the exact words, that’s the basic idea. He also says, that it takes time for one to understand their heart. To really know what it is saying. So perhaps I just haven’t reached a point in time in my life yet where I am actually communicating with my heart. Well not properly anyway.

So … again…. the question stays…. what to do? Listen to the heart as always, supported by the logic of the Alchemist, or listen to the brain supported by past experience? Don’t know… hope the choice is easier with the readers whenever they face something of this regard.  

Dreamer….

I recently had the following thought develop inside my head:

‘Dreams are nice to have … and it is dreams which eventually ensure some sort of reality in our lives even if that reality isn’t the dream itself. The realization of dreams is often manifested in the journey of trying to achieve it.’

See the thing is that we all have dreams. Some have more elaborate one then others. And some have way too complicated dreams. And yet still there are some whose dreams are extremely simple and quite basic. Dreams even if they don’t come true give people hope. It gives them a feeling that they are working towards something that will give them unmatchable joy in this cold and monstrous world that we live in. That there is still the brightness at the end of the tunnel so to speak.

Mostly this simple and basic fact is overlooked by people. They tend to forget that everybody including themselves has dreams. If they say ‘Oh we don’t believe in such ridiculous notions… and that dreams are just good for kids when they are young’, then you should know that they lost their dream somewhere along the way and have now forgotten about it from the conscious parts of their mind. But that dream still lingers in their sub-conscious. People who believe in miracles are dreamers. People who are idealists are dreamers. People who set themselves a goal which the general society would not attribute towards his stereotyped segment is a dreamer (In simple words someone whose dream is bigger then what people believe a person like him can achieve).

People tend to think that people who are dreamers, or idealists or miracles or any other non – humanly possible physical intervention based ideology are mostly delusional. People like to be ‘practical’ in life. Hence there is no place for dreams in the ‘practical’ world. There is no reality in dreams. There is no truth in them. Because they can’t see them. Because the general human populous has been conditioned to conform to the Generally Accepted Living Lifestyles (GALL). You were born into a system, a routine. And dammit you’ll die in one.

It is this which roots out certain problems of classification when it comes to what people want to do in their lives. Now because of the GALL, parents and well sometimes kids themselves would like to follow a path which will ensure the basics in life. But why does that have to be limited to certain walks of life. There are many things in this world, many talents in this world that are quite capable of earning your bread and butter. And most importantly, each of us has a special gift and ability inside us. Our dreams become the life source of these abilities. Our dreams in a sense show us the accomplishment of mastering what we all already have inside of us. Our special unique innate nature. What we are good at. What we were born to be good at. What makes us happy.

In our country, it would be highly questioned if someone who comes from a background having resources to get him into law, medicine or business studies wants to be a sports professional. Or an artist (music, painting, celebrity, acting etc). It’s just unheard of. “It’s the dreamer inside of you talking son. It doesn’t know about the real world. That’s not something that you can do. It’s not good enough.”

Sad. Well to me anyway. And I hope to other free thinking liberally open minds out there.

We shouldn’t stop dreaming. We should try our best to follow our dreams. So what if we don’t end up accomplishing our dreams. Maybe the journey which we under-take while trying to achieve that dream helps us realize another dream that we were unaware of. Or even the journey itself could be so enriching… that … well … you suddenly feel profound. You experience. You LIVE.

Be dreamers .. one and all. Live merry. And for goodness sake if you can’t dream at least don’t trample on those who do believe in this stuff.

In Pursuit of Silence

I think … 90% of the time in our lives …we are constantly hearing something inside our head. It’s either our thoughts … or voices. Or a deadly combination of both.  Now sadly for us , we are human beings. We are born with a complete emotional package in tow. And more over , that emotioal package mingles up a lot with those thoughts and those voices.

The end result is a constant need for questioning oneself. Their own ambitions. Their own thought processes. The decisions. The paths that they have taken in their life or the ones that they seek to embark on. The voices … get all corrupted from the external environment around us. And chemically react with the emotions in tow. Thus bringing into play the forbidden organ (As i like to call the heart). That’s when the real mess begins.

Your mind starts jabbering, with no end in sight. All sorts of things. It never keeps quite. It actually takes quite an effort to relax then. People who have reached a somewhat intellectual summit of their own lives, or rather their own potential, are constantly overwhelmed. They end up doing things like writing useless, meaningless stuff which can very easily get branded as their own form of philosophy. Write up after write up. Blog after blog. Thought after thought, penned down. Controversial, unnecessary gibberish.

Your rationality goes under. You start fearing for your sanity. And that’s when you end to seek an end  to those voices. That constant noise of thoughts in your head. You seek out vacations, get aways, holidays etc. But doesn’t really help. Something or someone happens on these things which starts putting your mind in motion once again. And that someone isn’t necessarily a love story… it could even be an enlightened encounter with another person who has reached the summit of his intellectual potential.  It could be a highly moving symbolic image.

I recently read a book .. in which the idea of a ‘Personal Legend’ was mentioned. The book was ‘The Alchemist’ written by Paulo Coehlo. Very well written book. Very captivating and engaging. However … I digress.

The idea of one’s personal legend. And that when someone is on hir or her journey of finding their personal leged, the entire universe conspires to help you find it…. is very plausible. But I believe we all must undertake another journey before we achieve a situation where we can undertake that one. For us to be completely in tow with our soul to undertake a journey of finding our personal legend.

For us to be completely in the zone and in sync to achieve that situation we need to have a mind which we are in control of . We must be in control of the voices… the thoughts. The noise of the thoughts. The constant clinging and clanging of thought waves inside our heads. We must in fact pursue silence. For in silence we have clarity. Clarity and focus.

Some people already are in the pursuit of silence. People who go away… not living anywhere and but going everywhere. Trying to achieve harmony within their ownselves. Meditation. A rendevouz with nature.

And that is how you get on the path to your Personal legend journey. In pursuit of your personal legend you are in pursuit of silence before.

The Great Abandon of Sanity….

Silence fills parts of my head. Usually the parts that I rely on keeping from going insane. It’s a sad and difficult day ahead the day that the voice of sanity is muted. And all other voices create a bottle neck of clutter. Mostly this state for me comes to existance when the sane, and intellectually tantalizing parts of my brain are abandoned. (I might not be reffering directly to the actual part of my brain over here and hence replaced it with ‘intellectually tantalizing’ ). Now by abandon I mean….. abandon. That is not to say that the rest of my brain has thrown it out or created a boundary between that part and itself. In fact what I mean to say is that the necessary food for that part of the brain is currently missing from my social diet.

In fact …. more then missing … I think the preferrence and demand of the part in question has changed. Developed as it has matured/grown/come to a different stage in life. (I love rambling on… at times. It can be fun… everyone should try it).

I’ve been thinking…. what if while on this journey of ours called life….. we are supposed to face certain periods in it where … we are feeling at an abandon. Again not literally in the sense that … I am physically abandoned. But rather …. intellectually. Socially one could say. But that’s perhaps part of the transition. Maybe the transition phase is ongoing and therefore doesn’t in this time period allow for a suitable consumption of social food. Maybe it’s supposed to happen ..as a second wind for us to realize who we are… and what it is that we really want. To qoute ‘The Alchemist’ … determine and find ‘Personal Legend’. I read it only recently. And well .. who knows … maybe this personal legend thing does exist. And that ‘the whole universe conspire to help you achieve your personal legend.

I know for a fact one thing that wouldn’t have been as it is right now on any previous occasion of being in the position I am right now regarding the ‘forbidden organ’ (Please refer to previous posts for finding out what the forbidden organ is. OH BAH … since i’ve wasted so many words telling you to check somewhere else I might as well tell you right now as well … the forbidden organ . whenever it may be uttered by me will ALWAYS … ALWAYS mean the heart. And not the physical kind. And he isn’t in fact going nuts.

Or maybe I am. Well to be fair .. .no one can actually tell on their own and that too about themselves. That’s asking a little too much of us as humans isn’t it ? Determing ourselves if we are koooks or not. I mean first and foremost … if you have indeed lost it ….. well … then how are we in a mental position to judge that we have lost it ? … I mean .. even if it is a true statement, it’s credibiliy welll .. cannot be established by the same person whose mental state is in question.

But I think I am slightly digressing. Now where was I * scrolls up * reads * scrolls down * …

Well to be fair .. ( I know I am digressing again .. but what the heck .. tomorrow’s a sunday .. or rather today is a sunday… ) 

Anyways … so yea … the great abandon feeling of the brain and the usual area of the grey matter used in order to keep our sanities amused and kicking.

It might soon lead to frustration …. but .. then again .. it’s 2.30 A.M. …. what the hell do I know ? For all I know…. this is completely something coming from the sleepiest bits of my personality and brain speak.

Taking from which I shall now bid you all a farewell for the night. Good night.

The Year That was…

The year 2008 :

• Global Economic Meltdowns
• World over job cuts in hundreds of thousands including major banks and airlines. Woolworths closes. Citibank cuts 70,000 jobs world over. The US announces $700 billion bail out for its failing banks. Recession hits everyone everywhere.
• Unrest and riots in the third world due to rising costs of living
• Erratic Oil Prices : Hitting records high prices of $147 a barrel and now currently below $40 a barrel
• Terror attacks in Pakistan have killed thousands this year: Marriot hotel severely damaged.
• Terror takes a new face and way in the Mumbai Attacks
• Pak – India tensions on the rise with war hysteria spreading in the common people and media on both sides of the border
• Israel’s savagely carries out air-strikes on GAZA after blocking it from every possible corner…. killing 375 (including 60 civilians) and injuring thousands.
• The US continues its wars in Iraq and Afghanistan
• Cricket dying a new death every day due to dual policies of ICC : ICC Champions Trophy canceled due to be held in Pakistan. Pakistan Isolated as most teams refuse to play in Pakistan in view of the security situation.
• Asif Ali Zardari is elected President of Pakistan in September.
• Political and rebel movements, clashes of violence, disruption of normalcy mar life in most 3rd world countries.
• Sea Pirate activities on the rise.
• Natural disasters claim hundreds of thousands of lives in various global events.

And now some of the positives:

• Spain crowned Euro Champions for the first time
• Barack Hussein Obama becomes the first African American to be elected the President of the United States of America sparking hope world over for a better US foreign policy. He will assume office on the 20th of January , 2009 to continue the history.
• China hosts the Olympics and carries out one of the most expesively planned and organized olympics in the history of the event.
• Phelps breaks all time record by bagging 8 golds at a single Olympics.
• Gwadar Port, Pakistan becomes operational.
• Over 120 countries sign an agreement to ban Cluster Bombs.

To each his own to categorize:

• The proton beam is circulated for the first time in the Large Hadron Collider, the world’s largest and highest-energy particle accelerator, located at CERN, near Geneva, under the Franco-Swiss border.
• An extra leap second (23:59:60) is added to end the year. The last time this occurred was in 2005.

These are a few of the glimpses of the year that was 2008. For a more comprehensive list you can visit: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2008

Keep in mind that I tried my best to keep this post balanced with the positives , negatives and the in between category. The link might not be as rosey. It will be hard to find a the positives in that list. 2008 was … infact a very bad year.

I hope that 09 will be better. And I hope we all can do whatever we can and feel we can to make 09 a better year.