Turmoil

The Lal Masjid fiasco of Pakistan’s history came to an end last week when the military finally cracked down on the brigade’s stronghold. The effects however still shatter through. There have been 4 consecutive days of bombings. All trageted at security forces and now at the PPP congregation awaiting the arrival of the CJ in Islamabad.

Islamabad, once the safest city of Pakistan, is now the hot spot for danger. Arms being hauled in the Lal Masjid ( high level arms mind you ), bombing in the federal capital, curfew… its all there.

The grim time that the country is passing by has led to many a speculation. Mushrooming Talibinisation turning into a full flegded movement is one. Yesterday’s bombing of the PPP congregession being a set up to give an excuse to impose military rule is another. Its one conspiracy after another. I am faced with the difficult task of answering many people’s question as to why one should continue staying in this country. A coutnry which is right now deeply embedded in turmoil.

The government , the media, the political parties, have all yet again simply put the common man, the citizen, the country on the line with their own personally vested designs. More then anyone else it is my personal opinion that it is the GOvernment which should be held accountable for all the murders, deaths, bombings. The govenrment, the parties, the COrrupt heads of security agencies. Fazlur Rehman , the bastard responsible for brokering a peace deal with the tribals (WHICH FAILED) should be held accountable. General Musharraf should be held accountable for letting the Lal Masjid grow as it did. It was an EVIL which should have been nipped in its bud only. BUT IT WAS NOT. AND that has resulted in the lives of innocents. The media , the IRRESPONSIBLE media should be held accountable. I don’t know about politics. I don’t know about the system by which a government or a country is run. But unfortunately I have to put my faith in the experts and the people who claim they do. Who have been running it. I have to put my faith in them. This IS THE result of my faith!

The anger burning inside of me right now is not something i can completely explain. I refuse to leave my country but at the same time I have NO solid, practical or RATIONAL reason to convince others of the same. And i don’t blame them for leaving if they want. Everybody is entitled to their own judgement call regarding their safety.

Just a thought

When we most want something, thats when we are the furthest from it. A dot in an open wide range, much below the scope of detection. a tiny miniscule image. Invisible, insignificant.

We crave more and more for it. And it subsequently gets harder to get. The mind gets corrupt. It starts creating a world of its own. A world of pessimistic foundations. The product of a dejected mind.

Man’s greatest challenge is to overcome his own desires, needs and urges. These can vary from the very basic to the very carnal. From the very rational to the very irrational. It can be our unfulfilled childhood wishes.

In this rejected state a grim reality starts to take form, building with force. In our own weakness, it gets stronger. The embodiment of paranoia takes birth and then we lose ourselves. And wait for reincarnation.

Humans always have, are and always will be condemned to have needs. Some.. more overpowering than others.

Ghost…

Sitting in the shadows … waiting for some sort of human contact. It had been so long since there was any. Oh how there was a longing for affection, appreciation. But none of those charms came even near the epitome of my existance.

The blood kept flowing in my body, the heart kept pumping and my brain kept overseein these all. But my mind…. aah the mind. They say that a mind is a terrible thing to waste. Oh but what of this mind in a isolation of absolute emotion. Oh what of the clamour that survives in the very roots of my soul. The pain… the loud mocking sound of silence. Defeating me into oblivion.

Even the sunsets and the sunrise remain monotonous. The same dim orange, to a bright flash of yellow. A newborn nebula in bloom is what it is. I don’t even know what that means. But the sensation is there. I gather what little is left of my grim reality. And take stock of the other things to come. Far far ahead.

Day by day, the fabric of my spirit fades away… i turn into a ghost. A lifless body, floating in the stream of time and the collusive experimentation called earth.

Beyond…

Many things tend to go wrong at once when they have to. So profess the laws of Murphy. The burner fumes out of control. The net comes to a stand still. The rains play havoc with your windows resulting in a mini-flood of your lounge.

We tend to however, especially in such times, limit our thinking and thought process by purely natural human workings to ourselves and our surroundings only.

A friend of mine recently wrote a piece called the Windshield Divide. I think he has done a brilliant job in bringing out what we all escape. The burden of being privelleged. Against those who are born to a life without rationale, reason and imagination. It is rather just that of mere survival.

Somewhere along the line , we are still stuck in the dogmatic views of our forefather’s elders. And this dogmatic view somehow gets disrupted into a sort of denial of our responsibilty.

What we collectively fail to do is to think Beyond ourselves. Beyond our 4 boundaries. We tend to forget those without a roof. Those battling for life, in this bustling world order we call a system. A trickle of water or bite of food. Commodities for us , necessicites for them. I know that essentially the 2 mean the same. But see how the mindset changed one from the other.

That is an inherent problem not only with us, but the entire nation, the entire continent and the entire world. Since we are a poor country , it might be easier and more obvious in the Land of the Pure.

In our country , the wisemen entrusted to lead this country to a brighter future are willing to debate on whether the financial system upholding one of the support pillars for the economic development of our country is allowed by religion. They ARE Not however , that eager on debating the more serious, life threatning, socially corrupting issues of Karo Kari, Honour Killings and Gang Rapes. It is sad that the 7th century mindset has failed to transform with time towards the 21st century.

A man , who i was so hopeful of, who i was sure would take Pakistan to glorius tidings, is now a man i wish would exit the entire scenario.

The General has i am sorry to say lost his way. He has reduced himself to battling against the CJ of this country as if in a school yard tussle.

I can only wish and hope for a better future for my country. I as always remain devout. But I don’t know till when I can really.