Marvi Memon refused to meet Mrs. Clinton

[This letter was first published by The Nation.]

Marvi Memon refused to meet Mrs.Clinton
November 3, 2009

Dear Secretary Clinton,

Whilst the message from you and your government is that of peace and friendship, the Kerry Lugar Bill passed by your legislative branch has been one of the main stumbling blocks in this mission. The assumption that Pakistanis have misunderstood the bill is equally faulty. Pakistanis have read the bill and understood your intent to micromanage Pakistan, to curtail Pakistan’s nuclear expansion program and to direct the war against extremism in Pakistan from White House.

What follows below is an understanding of the bill which needs to be amended if relations between US and patriotic Pakistanis have to be established. Your assertion that if we have issues with the bill we don’t need to take the money is ‘spot on’; patriotic Pakistanis have rejected your mere $1.5 billion. We will not negotiate on our country’s sovereignty and defence. And these are not mere slogans. They are based on facts which we read out of your conditionalities which do exist. And here are the facts Secretary Clinton:

1. The most controversial clause in the bill pertains to giving US ‘direct access to Pakistani nationals associated with such networks’. The explanation given in the note is equally unacceptable because it wants ‘cooperative efforts’ to combat proliferation to continue. This cooperation mentioned is intrusive since it demands ‘direct access’. Secretary Clinton, we have already handled our proliferators and believe in non proliferation. This we consider a breach of our sovereignty.

2. The reference to Pakistan military and intelligence agencies being involved in giving support to terrorists in the past is equally offensive. This is a clause which enables the Indian lobby to target Pakistan and hold it responsible for all future terrorist acts in the region.

3. The other issue pertains to the fact that President Obama’s regional security strategy will include working with ‘relevant governments and organizations in the region and elsewhere.’ The strategy which could include RAW and Mossad would be imposed on Pakistan for US national interest not Pakistan. And as such we cannot give the authority of making Pakistan’s security strategy to a US President.

4. There are references to expansion of Container Security Initiative at various Pakistani ports which we consider a security hazard.

5. The term sanctuary for terrorism implies that Pakistan is a failed state as is included in intelligence reforms and Terrorism Prevention Act 2004.

6. Bill allows ‘irregular forces to be used for US combat operations in Pakistan’ as stated in the Ronald Reagan Act 2005. This in effect gives legal cover to the Dynocores and Blackwaters which we Pakistanis have major issues with and consider a threat to our security.

7. The bill micromanages Pakistan’s important federal government agencies from education, madrassah’s to trade, to judiciary, to natural resources. All aid given will be to NGOs and if more than $100,000 is given those NGO files will become classified. As such Pakistan will not have access to such operations. This we consider an attempt by US to create its own financial political power bases for future.

8. Approximately $860 million of the aid will go back to US in the form of administrative expenses etc. This truly reflects badly on the actual impact on an average Pakistani’s life.

Here were some of the issues with the bill. Now let’s examine what aggravates Pakistani sensitivities with regards to current US policies. And why you are not welcome in Pakistan by patriotic Pakistanis. This might help you understand why over 80% of Pakistanis have issues with your policies as per certain reliable surveys.

1. Firstly, the US stance in the war against extremism is biased towards protecting Indian and Afghan interests. The TTP and Baloch terrorists have been using these two countries and their resources as bases for their operations inside Pakistan as is proven by Pak military evidence. Whilst you consider Pakistan to be sovereign our aid is linked to these two countries which we find distasteful.

2. Whilst Pakistan’s nuclear program is an issue for US, the Indian nuclear program (civil nuclear technology agreement) is being allowed to expand without any blockades.

3. Whilst you have personally complemented Pak military efforts in your recent visit, at the same time there are conditionalities in giving aid to Pakistan to strengthen its military against terrorists. Certainly these terrorists are linked to India and as such conditionalities are one sided. Moreover, if Pakistan military is being complemented why can’t it be trusted with drone technology? Additionally US policy wishes to strengthen Pakistan’s parliament and yet it ignores the resolution passed by Pakistani parliament against drone attacks.

4. Whilst Pakistan is a frontline state which has paid dearly in terms of men lost in battle with terrorists, US considers India and Pakistan to be equals. Where is the advantage Pakistan should get for cooperating on terrorism? $1.5 billion is a joke compared to the billions spent in Afghanistan and Iraq, even in Turkey and Egypt. As well as the fact that no where with other allies has US imposed intrusive conditionalities.

5. Whilst Pakistan is blamed for terrorist sanctuaries how many infiltrators coming from India and Afghanistan specifically have you managed to stop?

6. The commitment for ROZs looks like its dithering. Where is the actual support for the tribals who have suffered the most in the war being fought to destabilize Pakistan?

7. What effort has the US played in cutting drug money which is destabilizing Pakistan and funding terrorism considering its source of entry is US backed Afghan territory. UN report confirms that after US entry into Afghanistan opium production has increased manifold. This is impacting Pakistan’s security since it’s ready financing for terrorism inside Pakistan.

Secretary Clinton,

If you wish to improve Pak-US bilateral, a more productive approach would have been to not justify the bill on arrival but rather to give an open ear to the criticisms with a commitment to amending it. Since there have been no such commitments it seems fruitless to meet with you. This is even more disturbing considering that you have been given plenty of evidence of Pakistani uproar on the bill before your arrival. It’s a pity that the bill was executed minus real Pakistani input. This has no doubt created a diplomatic fiasco for the US. Instead of underestimating the fiasco or considering it a result of Pakistani lack of comprehension, it would have been better to deal with it head on: amending the bill being the only viable option.

Pakistan might have a government which is beholden to you for its future longevity, but there are patriotic Pakistanis who will defend the soil before accepting your policies of creating a US fiefdom in Pakistan. As a young parliamentarian, I would only welcome you to Pakistan once we have evidence of your shift in policy so that Pakistan is dealt with as a sovereign country.

MARVI MEMON

An Analogy of Socialism

An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never failed a single student before but had once failed an entire class.

That class had insisted that socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer. The professor then said, "OK, we will have an experiment in this class on socialism. All grades would be averaged and everyone would receive the same grade so no one would fail and no one would receive an A.

After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B. The students who studied hard were upset an d the students who studied little were happy.

As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little. The second test average was a D! No one was happy.

When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F. The scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else.

All failed, to their great surprise, and the professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great but when government takes the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed.
It could not be any simpler than that.

"You cannot legislate the poor into freedom by legislating the wealthy out of freedom. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for,that my dear friend, is about the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it."

The Choas That We Are

It is getting harder and harder to fathom what is happening in our country or where we are headed. There is not one … but multiple fundamental issues ongoing and none of them seem to be addressed by anyone. The nation is at war (apparently we weren’t at one before since the interior minister just said we are like a couple of days back. perhaps the previous operations in the north were …. i dont know not worthy of the word war). There is an ongoing sugar crisis. Power and electricity are always a fundamental problem. Security threats are increasingly getting higher. Our sense of civil liberties are becoming desentisized. We as a people are absolutely not discplined in anything. We don’t have the basic civic sense that we should. And overall… more and more …people are becoming cynical in this country. Oh and of course.. the economy.. the Kerry – Lugar bill … the unemployment and lack of jobs…. etc etc etc. I could continue this list … but I am sure you get the point by now.

People.. and mostly I am talking about the high and mighty ‘political’ analysts in our country are still stuck on Musharaff. ‘He did this’ ‘He did that’ ‘He brought him’ ‘He authorized’ blah blah blah. All happened. All done. All in the past. What is happening right now is now? We simply cannot afford to continue sitting and discussing and debating and blaming people for what happened in the past. We cannot afford to stay caught up in that.

The security threat has become so horrific that schools and universities are being targetted. The twin blasts which took place in the IIUI yesterday … was beyond sad. 6 Students died. Students. The future of Pakistan. This is what is happening now. People who are concerned are getting more and more fed up with living in this country, and not out of mere whim of irritation, but this is actually getting too much. I don’t blame them. For anyone their childred are everything. And if their children are not safe…. then they will do what is necessary to protect them. The schools across the nation are closed. The federal ones are to remain closed till Sunday if I am not mistaken. Inititially the Universities and Institutes were also going to be closed .. however the decision was changed for them to remain closed on Wednesday (today) and reopen on Thursday.

The very idea of our children not being able to attend school because of a terror threat of a suicide bomber is … horrible. It goes against the idea of a ‘free’ and ’sovereign’ state. Something that we are ‘apparently’ so much concerned about for bashing the Kerry Lugar bill. (I shall not comment on the bill itself and whether we should or shouldn’t be opposed to it. I will refrain for now). But the point is … this is not the sign of a state which is Free or Sovereign.

Yesterday as I was driving home in the evening, I was listening to a show on one of the FM channels and the RJ’s were at that moment discussing this ongoing crisis only. One of them was saying  “The security which has been put in place.. the added security … is not at all a measure of suring up security. All this is doing is adding to our hassels. I was going to drop my kid to school today… and the guy who is their to protect me… started frisking me. I mean …he wasn’t even trained to do that … properly. And all he had on him was a metal detector. This is not security at all. It is in fact a lack of it.” Completely agreed. The other one was however adding that “we shouldn’t give in to the Taliban or the militants behind these threats because this is exactly what they want. They want us to stop functioning as a nation. After the schools they will say the work places will be targetted and then our offices will be closed for the same reasons.”  

While I agree with him in principal… I think it is easier said then done. Especially given the state of security measures in place as pointed out by the other RJ. We are not equipped to stand tall (shamefully) in the face of such threats.

We are in a grave situation. I am sorry to say but with this latest terror wave we’ve simply gone beyond rock bottom. Our leadership is full of corrupt incompetent puppets who have no sincerety towards the country in their hearts. Our entire political leadership .. not just the one in the centre… is horde of corrupt animals.

The idea of … a shut down of the education system …. I mean its become so bad that it is affecting the lives of our children. I mean before this ..with the terrorist attacks and all we were still able to protect their lives. Yes parents got more strict with timings and safety concerns for their children on their plans and everything. But the schools … its too much. I am right now in a state of being beyond anger actually.

We need to get rid of the old guard of our leadership and politics…and generally the people in places of doing something for this country. Our supreme court should take notice of things as they are going on in the country. And our country .. which so aggressively came out on the streets for the entire Judicial crisis… needs to raise their voice against … against … where the current leaders are taking this country…..oblivion.

Change the entire system. Put rules in place. I think the only body capable of doing this is the National Assembly and perhaps the Judiciary. But there you go…more problems here. The national assembly is also full of F******* yes men who absolutely do not have any morals or goodwill of the people in their hearts or sights. (I am talking about the majority… there are a rare few who are actually genuinely representing their electoral seats). And the Supreme Court….well … I think the current benches are already too politisized after the ..and actually the entire March 9th, 2007 incident.

And no…. I won’t merely say God Help Us. We need to help ourselves. We can only pray for mercy.  

Why Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize

 

Honestly speaking, I am still puzzled as to why he won. I really am. And I would love to read the doctored and un-doctored reasoning.

The Alienation of Us Humans

“ In sociology and critical social theory, alienation refers to an individual’s estrangement from traditional community and others in general. It is considered by many that the atomism of modern society means that individuals have shallower relations with other people than they would normally. This, it is argued, leads to difficulties in understanding and adapting to each other’s uniqueness (see normlessness) “

                        – Wikipedia, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_alienation

 

We have become so caught up in our lives, the materialistic part of our lives especially, that we are missing it altogether. The essence of life is life itself. And we are just speeding by it like a ferrari on a motorway. I know, not the best of metaphors, but I am sure you will live. Anyway.. back to the post.

 

We worry about careers, about money, about saving money, about the kind of cars we drive, about ‘staying connected online all the time’. But that’s the thing …even though we have come up with so many ways to stay connected with each other….we still don’t. We proudly put forward the banner of developing ways to bring family and friends who are geographically far apart closer together, but yet ..we don’t really practice it in kind that much. Facebook, Skype, Blackberry, other smartphones, other social networks, MSN Messenger, Yahoo Messenger, Email etc etc. (the latter ones being a little old on this modern list)

We are still so busy and caught up with ourselves only. Constantly worrying, constantly scheming, constantly materializing plans and big ticket business items or career growth paths. By doing all this we so easily alienate ourselves from the human side, the emotional and compassionate side. Even if we are not materialistic, or money minded, we are still so caught up in our self made complications that we would rather slip into isolation then anything else. What is left in the end is just man…. not human. A flesh and blood robot.

See while we will still be creatures who have feelings, soon these feelings will become benign. And its not just feelings linked to relationships, its the entire possible universe I am talking about.

Plus there are so many of those ‘I love you’s’ around out there that the three words have actually lost value. Its become something akin to the side side cheek kiss done in fictional movies by models who are just being sociable by doing so. I mean they don’t even actually kiss on the cheek… they just go to one side and take out the sound and then the other side and the sound again!

What is supposed to be one of those foremost genuine feelings from the heart has been turned into redundant social norm …. its outrageous, but a fact of what is / has happened.

We have alienated ourselves from being humans and just gone into the routine of being men. We move or try to move at such a fast pace… that we just get lost. In mind and spirit.

We are emotional beings at the end of the day and if we don’t get enough emotional fodder let alone the really vital ones: compassion, affection, companionship, and the all important of being human; we will continue to reduce interactions and supposed emotional exchanges to something which has no meaning whatsoever. Just cheap change changing hands.

 

*NOTE : If you didn’t get the point of this blog…. welcome to the club… I didn’t either…. is it a sign of alienating ourselves ? Think about it. Nothing says it more then something which so obviously says it being completely off our radar of understanding.

Of Purpose & Inspiration

I keep running in my head. Running away from the present. Sometimes to the past, sometimes to a future I don’t know the reality of. I’ve thought of this before as well. And it always seems to turn out the same invariably. I run mostly for purpose and in search of inspiration. I find none at the moment. Well not purpose which would be meaningful anyway. I mean everyone likes to keep a wallet which would run their lives for them. Who doesn’t?

Purpose for which we feel the reality of our existance. Purpose, without which it would all seem like a bit of a waste. Everything would then wouldn’t it. We need purpose in our lives as much as we need the air we breathe, the water we drink.  Some find it. Some toil for it. Some …..well … they stand in abyss.

We struggle to come to terms with something which is not becoming of us much less with something which is more or less nothing. A slab of drudgery through the journey that is life. Without that particular ‘purpose’ for which we all exist, without knowing it or in someway being connected or associated with it, the journey…. becomes painfully meaningless.

However, purpose alone is not enough. As I said earlier, purpose at times can be meaningless as well. At the core of it all… lies inspiration. Inspiration doesn’t necessarily have to do with lights going on in a flash in your head or a moment of genius in which you end up inventing something. Neither is it necessarily a vision or that which makes artists create marvels of absolute beauty and awe.

Over here what I mean by inspiration is what makes a person tick. Again mind you not necessarily as a means to achieve greatness or glory. But inspiration to tick. To embrace life with color and positive demeanor. To manifest excitement and to create passion. It could be an epic movie for some ( a battle scene from a great war of fantasy or history). It could be a song which hits you much beyond your ears and brain, way deep into your mind and soul. It could be achieving a simple goal as well. It may very well also be the sport you play daily. (Watching is obvious I would think! Who wouldn’t be pumped and inspired after watching a great performance by their team of support!)

Right now … at this particular moment in time, I find none anywhere near me. This is kind of sad. For I love music, I love reading, I love watching epic movies. And I definitely love sports – watching Afridi standing triumphant after we became the T20 Champions earlier this year was truly inspirational… not just for me but the entire homeland especially at that point in time.

Having said that I am not entirely banished into abyss … and not completely with the lack of something to make me tick. But its not the same. Its not the same as when … well … a year back even.

I need a move on. A nudge….a moment of madness…… or as I’ve said many times in the recent past…. I need some time off from what is my life. I need a reintroduction to my music. I need a beach, with sand, sun and the waves. That would surely be perfect. But that’s not happening for now….so I am guessing I’ll have to make to do with a cool tall glass of lemonade and whatever my iPOD has to offer me!

A Solitary Isle of Hope

After mostly drifting through the past couple of months in and out of the daily routine that has become me, I found myself a solitary isle of hope. However the way to it has suddenly decided to allude itself from me. Which is annoying.

But then again… as I try more and more for change, and open my mind to try and figure out what it is that I ultimately want, a lot of things start to tumble out that I’ve not been thinking about … some skeletons… some things that I just am not ready for I guess. At this point in time I don’t understand. The solitary isle seems to be the only thing that I can understand… and hold onto right now. All the other stuff …I don’t know. It just seems … distant from my own being. I even begin to feel now .. that this constant daze of un-settlement is perhaps something wrong with me rather then all else.

For most of you reading this who DON’T know me … this probably isn’t making a lot of sense. For those who do, and are getting what I am talking about ..well hush.

I think what I am attaching most to the solitary isle of hope is a clean slate of sorts. Starting afresh. When I get there… it will be a new day, a new beggining. To choose my path more carefully this time. To choose my tools more wisely. To make a journey which is more in line with … me.

I hope something gives thou. Either I find solace in now, the present … or I find that isle. Or something new reveals itself.

If none of the above happens or pans out as thought, then I am darn sure that the un-settlement is in my head. And that will need to be checked out.

The Bro Code

• Article 1: Bro’s before Ho’s
• Article 2: A Bro is always entitled to do something stupid, as long as the rest of his Bros are doing it
• Article 3: If a Bro gets a dog, it must be at least as tall as his knee when full-grown
• Article 4: A Bro never divulges the of the Bro Code to a woman. It is a scared document not to be shared with chicks for any reason…no not even that reason.
• Article 5: whether he cares about sports or not, a Bro cares about sports.
• Article 6: A /bro shall not lollygag if he must get naked in front of other Bros in a gym locker room
• Article 7: A Bro never admits he can’t drve stick. Even after an accident.
• Article 8: A Bro never sends a greeting card to another Bro.
• Article 9: Should a Bro lose a body part due to an accident or illness, his fellow Bros will not make lame jokes such as “Gimmee three!” or “Wow, quiiting your job like that really took a lot of ball”. Its still a high five and that Bro still has a lot of balls…metaphorically speaking of course.
• Article 10: A Bro will drop whatever he’s doing and rush to help his Bro dump a chick.
• Article 11: A Bro may ask his Bro(s) to help him move, but only after first discoling an honest estimate on both time commitment and number of large pieces of furnititure. If the Bro has vastly underestimated either, his Bros retain the right to leave his possessions where they are-in most cases, stuck in a doorway.
• Article 12: Bros do no share dessert
• Article 13: All Bros shall dub one of their Bros his wingman
• Article 14: If a chick inquires about another Bro’s sexual history, a Bro shall honor the ‘Code of silence’ and play dumb. Better to have women think all men are stupid than tell the truth.
• Article 15: A Bro never dances with his pants below his hips.
• Article 16: A Bro should be able, at any time, to recite the following reigning champions: Cricket, Football, and Playmate of the Year
• Article 17: A Bro shall be kind and courteous to his co-workers, unless they are beneath him on the Pyramid of Screaming
• Article 18: If a Bro spearheads a beer run at a party, he is entitled to any excess monies accrued after canvassing the group
• Article 19: A Bro shall not sleep with another Bro’s sister. However, a Bro shall not get angry if another Bro says, “Dude, your sisters hot!”
• Article 20: A Bro respects his Bros in the military because they’ve selflessly chosen to defend the nation, but more to the point, because they can kick his ass sex ways to sunday.
• Article 21: A Bro never shares observations about another Bro’s smoking-hot girlfriend. Even if the Bro with the hot girlfriend attempts to bait the Bro by saying “she’s smoking-hot, huh?” a Bro shall remain silent, because in this situation, he’s the only one who should be baiting.
• Article 22: There is no law that prohibits a woman from being a Bro.
• Article 23 When flipping through TV channals with his Bros, a Bro is not allowed to skip past a program featuring boobs. This includes but is not limited to, exercise shows, womens athletics, and on some occasions surgery programs.
• Article 24: When wearing a cap, a Bro may position the brim at either 12 or 6 o’clock. All other angles are reserved for rappers and the handicapped.
• Article 25: A Bro doesnt let another Bro get a tattoo, particularly a tattoo of a girls name.
• Article 26: Unless he has children, a Bro shall not wear his cell phone on a belt clip.
• Article 27: A Bro never removes his shirt in front of other Bros, unless at a resort pool, the beach or egg splashing.
• Article 28: A Bro will, in a timely manner, alert his Bro to the existance of a girl fight
• Article 29: If two Bros decide to catch a movie together, they may not look at each other during a hot scene, Bro’s must respect the privacy of the other bros.
• Article 30: A Bro doesn’t comparison shop.
• Article 31: When on the prowl, a Bro hits on the hottest chick first because you just never know
• Article 32: A Bro doesnt allow another Bro to get married until hes at least twenty six.
• Article 33 When in a public restroom, a Bro (1) stares straight ahead when using the urinal; (2) makes the obligatory comment, “aaahh, Thand par gaye” if there are more than two dudes waiting to pee; and (3) attempts to shoot his used paper towel into the trash can like a basketball…rebounding is optional.
• Article 34: Bros cannot make eye-contact during a Devil’s Threeway.
• Article 35: A Bro never rents a chick flick
• Article 36 DD: When questioned in the company of women, a Bro always decries fake breasts.
• Article 37: A Bro is under no obligation to open a door for anyone.
• Article 38: Even in a fight to the death a Bro never punches another Bro in the groin.
• Article 40: Should a Bro become stricken with engagement, his Bros shall stage an intervention and attempt to heal him. This is more commonly known as “a bachelor party.”
• Article 41: A Bro never cries (Exceptions- Death of a close one.)
• Article 42: Upon greeting another Bro, a Bro may engage in a high five, fist bump, or a Bro hug, but never a cheek kiss.
• Article 43: A Bro loves his country, unless that country isn’t Pakistan.
• Article 44: A Bro never applies sunscreen to another Bro
• Article 45: A Bro never wears jeans to a strip club
• Article 46: If a Bro is seated next to some dude who’s stuck in the middle seat on an airplane, he shall yield him all of their shared armrest, unlesss the dude has (a) teken his shoes off, (b) is snoring, (c) makes the Bro get up more than once to use the lavatory.
• Article 47: When a Bro gets a chicks number, he waits at least ninety-six hours before calling her.
• Article 48: A Bro never publicly reveals how many chicks he’s banged.
• Article 49: When asked, “Do you need some help?” a Bro shall automatically respond, “I gotit,” whether or not he’s actually got it.
• Article 50: If a Bro should accidentally strike another Bro’s undercarriage with his arm while walking, both Bros silently agree to continue on as if it never happened.
• Article 51: A Bro checks out another Bro’s blind date and reports back with a thumbs-up or thumbs-down
• Article 52: A Bro is not required to remember another Bros birthday, though a phone call every now and again probably wouldn’t kill him
• Article 53: Even in a drought, a Bro flushes twice
• Article 54: A Bro is required to go out with his Bros on First holiday of Semesterand other official Bro hollidays, including New Year’s Eve, and Desperation Day (February 13th)
• Article 55: It is obligatory for all bros to attend the EOGM.
• Article 56: A Bro is required to alert another Bro if the Bro/chick Ration at a party falls below 1:1. However, to avoid Broflation, a Bro is only allowed to alert one Bro. Further, a Bro may not speculate on the anticipated Bro/Chick Ratio of a party or venue without first disclosing the present-time observed ratio.
• Article 57: A Bro never reveals the score of a sporting event to another Bro unless that Bro has thrice confirmed he wants to hear it.
• Article 58: A Bro doesn’t grow a big beard (Unless Bro has gone Islamic)
• Article 59: A Bro must always post bail for another Bro, unless it’s out of state or, like, crazy expensive (Crazy expensive bail >(years you’ve been bros) x $100)
• Article 60: A Bro shall honor there father and mother, for they were once Bro and chick. However, a Bro never thinks of them in that capacity.
• Article 61: If a Bro for whatever reason becomes aware of another Bro’s anniversary with a chick, he shall endeavor to make that information available to his Bro, regardless of whether he thinks his Bro already knows.
• Article 62: In the event that two Bros lock on to the same target, the Bro who calls dibs first has dibs. If both call dibs at the same time, the Bro who counts aloud to ten the fastest has dibs. If both arrive at the number ten at the same time, the Bro who bought the last round of drinks has dibs. If they haven’t purchased drinks yet, the taller of the two Bros has dibs. If they’re the same height, the Bro with the longer dry spell has dibs. Should the dry spells be of equal length, a game of discreet Broshambo* shall determine dibs, provided the chick is still there. *Rock, paper, scissors for Bros.
• Article 63: A Bro will make any and all efforts to provide his Bro with protection
• Article 64: A Bro must provide his Bro with a ticket to an event if said event involves the latter Bro’s favourite sports team in a playoff scenario
• Article 65: A Bro must always reciprocate a round of drinks amoung Bros.
• Article 66: If a Bro suffers pain due to the permanent dissolution of a relationship with a lady friend, a Bro shall offer nothing more than a ‘that sucks, man’ and copious quantities of beer. A Bro will also refrain from pejorative commentary – desered or not – regarding said lady friend for a period of three months, when the requisite BACKSLIDE WINDOW has closed.
• Article 67: Should a Bro pick up a guitar at a party and commence playing, another Bro shall point out that he is a tool.
• Article 68: If a Bro be on hot streak, another Bro will do everything possible to ensure its longevity, even if that includes jeopardizing his own records, the missing of work, or, if necessary, generating a realistic fear that the end of the world is imminent. (Dry spell trumps hot streak)
• Article 69: Duh.
• Article 70: A Bro will drive another Bro to the airport or pick him up, but never both for the same trip. He is not expected to be on time, help with luggage, or inquire about his Bro’s trip or general well-being.
• Article 71: As a courtest to Bros the world over, a Bro will only bring rocketeer Bros to the party.
• Article 72: A Bro never spell-checks.
• Article 73: When a group of Bros are in a restaurant, each shall engage in the time-honored ritual of jockeying to pay the bill, regardless of affordability. When the group ultimately decides to divide the check, each Bro shall act upset rather that enormously relieved.
• Article 74: At a red light, a Bro inches as close as possible to the rear bumper of the car infront of him, and then immediately honks his horn when the light turns green. That way if another Bro is several cars behind, he’ll have a better chance of making it through the intersection before the light turns red again.
• Article 75: A Bro automatically enhances another Bro’s job description when introducing him to a chick.
• Article 76: If a Bro is on the phone with a chick while in front of his Bros and, for whatever reason, desires to say “I love you” he shall first excuse himself from the room or employ a subsonic barry white-esque tone
• Article 77: Bros don’t cuddle infront of chicks.
• Article 78: A Bro shall never rack jack his wingman
• Article 79: At a wedding, Bros shall reluctantly trudge out for the garter toss and feign interest for the benefit of the chicks present. Whichever Bro gets stuck with the garter shall lightheartedly pretend he’s not horrified at the thought of being the next one to drop before scurrying to the bar for a very stiff drink and/or shots.
• Article 80: A bro shall make every effort to aid another Bro in riding the tricycle, short of completing the tricycle himself.
• Article 81: A Bro leaves the toilet seat up for his Bros
• Article 82: If two Bros get into a heated argument over something and one says something out of line, the other shall not expect him to take it back or apologise to make amends. Tha’s inhuman.
• Article 83: A Bro shall, at all costs, honor the Platinum Rule: Never, ever, ever, ever ” love” thy neighbor. In particular, a Bro shall never mix it up romantically with a co-worker unless she’s a classmate.
• Article 84: Bro shall stop whatever he’s doing and watch Baywatch if it’s on TV.
• Article 85: If a Bro buys a new car, he is required to pop the hood when showing it off to his Bros.
• Article 86: When a Bro meets a chick he shall endeavor to find out where she fits on the Hot/Crazy Scale before pursuing her.
• Article 87: A Bro never questions another Bro’s stated masturbations per day, maximum bench press, or height. He can however, ask the Bro to prove it, traditionally in the form of a wager.
• Article 88: If a Bro, for whatever reason must drive another Bro’s car, he shall not adjust the preprogrammed radio stations, the mirrors, or the seat position, even if this last requirement results in the Bro trying to drive the vehicle as a giant praying mantis would.
• Article 89: A Bro shall always say yes in support of a Bro
• Article 90: A Bro shows up at another Bro’s party with at least one more unit of alcohol than he plans to drink. So if a Bro plans on chugging a six pack, he shall bring a six pack plus at least one can of beer. If the party sucks and/or there are too many dudes, the Bro is entitled to leave with his alcohol, though etiquette dictates he should wait until nobody is looking.
• Article 91: If a group of Bros suspect that their Bro is trying to give himself a nickname, they shall rally to call bim by an adjacent yet more demeaning nickname
• Article 92: A Bro keeps his booty calls at a safe distance
• Article 93: Bros don’t speak ‘Yo Engrezi’ to one another
• Article 94: If a Bro is in the bathroom and runs out of toilet paper, another Bro may toss him a new roll, but at no point may their hands touch or the door open more than 30 degrees
• Article 95: A Bro shall alert another Bro to the presence of a chesty woman regardless of whether or not he knows the Bro. Such alerts may not be administered verbally. (The shoes tap, The eye redirect, The swift shin kick *D cups and up only, please*)
• Article 96: Bros shall go camping once a year, or at least attempt to start a fire
• Article 97: Bros cannot be gays.
• Article 98: A Bro never lies to his Bros about the hotness of chicks at a given social venue or event
• Article 99: A Bro never asks for directions when lost
  Exception: A Bro may ask for directions for a hot chick who seems to know the area
  Exception: A Bro may ask for directions from a hot chick even if she also appears lost
  Exception: A Bro may ask for directions from a hot chick even if he is not lost at all.
• Article 100: When pulling up to a stoplight, a Bro lowers his window so that all might enjoy his music selection.
  Corollary: If there happens to be a hot chick driving the car next to the Bro, the Bro shall pull his sunglasses down to get a better look. If he’s not wearing his sunglasses, he will first put them on, then pull them down to get a better look.
• Article 101: If a Bro asks another Bro to keep a secret, he shall take that secret to his grave* This is what makes them Bros, not chicks
  *And beyond if the Bro discovers there is indeed life after death.
• Article 102: A Bro shall take great care in selecting and training his wingman.
• Article 103: A Bro never wears socks with sandals. He commits to one cohesive footgrear plan and sticks with it.
• Article 104: The mom of a Bro is always off-limits. But the stepmom of a Bro is fair game if she initiates and /or is wearing at least one article of leopard print clothing…provided she looks good in it…but not if she smokes menthol cigarettes
• Article 105: If a Bro is not invited to another Bro’s wedding, he doesn’t make a big deal out of it, even if, let’s face it, he was kind of responsible for setting up the couple and had already picked out the perfect wedding gift and everything. Its cool. No big whoop.
• Article 106: Given an option on quantity when ordering a beer with his Bros, a Bro always selects the largest size available or shall never hear the end of it that night
• Article 107: A Bro never leaves another Bro hanging
• Article 108: If a Bro forgets a guy’s name he may call him “brah”,”dude”, or “man” but never “Bro”
• Article 109: When Bros attend a sporting event and see themselves on the JumboTron, they shall purse their lips and flex their biceps while informing the crowd that their team is number one, despite any objective rankings to the contraty.
• Article 110: If a Bro is hitting it off with a chick, his Bro shall do anything within his means to ensure the desired outcome
• Article 111: If a Bro discovers another Bro has forgotten to sign out of his email the Bro will sign out for him, but only after first sending a few angry emails to random cntacts and then deleting all sent messages.
• Article 112: A Bro doesnt sing along to music in a bar.
  Exception: A Bro may participate in karaoke
  Exception to exception: No chick songs
• Article 113: A Bro abides by the accepted age-difference formula when pursuing a young chick
  Acceptable age difference formula
  Chick’s age = Guy’s age divided by 2, + 6
• Article 114: If a Bro must crash on his Bro’s couch for an extended period of time, he shall offer to split the cost of toilet paper and the cable bill if said period exceeds two weeks. If he stays longer than a month, he shall offer to contribute some rent. If he stays longer than two months, he shall sheam clean the couch or have it incinerated, whichever is more applicable
• Article 115: A “clothing optional” beach doesn’t really mean “clothing optional” for Bros
• Article 116: A Bro shall not kill another Bro or a Bros chances to score with a chick
• Article 117: A Bro never willingly relinquishes possession of a remote control. If another Bro desires a channel change, he may verbally request one or engage in the fools errand of getting up to manually change the channel
• Article 118: When a Bro is with his Bros he is not a vegetarian
• Article 119: When three Bros must share the backseat of a car, it is unacceptable for any Bro to sexually arouse another bro.
• Article 120: A Bro always calls another Bro by his nick name.
• Article 121: Rocketeers is an exclusive invite-only club of Bros who determines all other bros.
• Article 122: A Bro is always psyched. Always.
• Article 123: Two Bros shall maintain at least a three-foot radius between them while dancing on the same floor, even when reenacting the knife fight from “Beat It” which, I guess, two Bros shouldn’t do anyway, or at least not very often.
• Article 124: If a Bro should shoot an air ball, strike out while playing softball, or throw a gutter ball while Bowling, he is required to make some sort of excuse for himself.
• Article 125: If a Bro is driving ahead of another Bro in a Bro TRain, he is required to attempt to lose him in traffic as a funny joke.
• Article 126: In a scenario where two or more Bros are watching entertainment of the adult variety, one Bro is forbidden from intentionally or unintentionally touching another Bro in ANY capacity. This may include but is not limited to: the high five, the fist bump or the confratulary gluteal pat. Winking is also kind of a no-no.
• Artricle 127: A Bro will always help another Bro reconstruct the events from the previous night, unless those events entail hooking up with an ugly chick or the Bro repeatedly saying “I love you, man” to all his Bros.
• Article 128: A Bro never wears two articles of clothing at the same time that bear the same school name, vacation destination or sports team. Even in a laundry emergency, its preffered that a Bro go out half naked rather than violate this code…half naked from the waist up, naturally.
• Article 129: If a Bro lends another Bro a DVD, video game, or piece of laawn machinery, he shall not expect to ever get it back, unless his Bro happens to die and bequeath it back to him.
• Article 130: If a Bro learns another Bro has been in a traffic accidident, he must first ask what type of car he collided with and whether it got totaled before asking if his Bro is okay.
• Article 131: While a Bro is not expected to know exactly how to change a tire, he is required to at least drag out the jack and stare at the flat for a while. If he needs to consult the car’s ownership manual to locate the jack, he shall do so from inside the car, where he is not visible to passersby and where he can discreetly call a tow truck, after which it is recommended that he hide the jack by the side of the road so he’ll have a legitimate excuse when the tow truck arrives.
• Article 132: If a Bro decides to let all of his Bros down and get married, he is required to invite them to the wedding, even if this directly violates the wishes of his fiancée and results in a “no ex” penalty or whatever lame domestic punishment couples might employ
• Article 133: A Bro only claims a fart after first accusing at least one other Bro.
• Article 134: A Bro is entitled to use a woman as his wingman
• Article 135: If a scenario arises in which a Bro has promised two of his Bros permanent shotgun, one of the following shall determine the copitot: (1) foot race to the car, (2) silent auction or in the case of a road trip exceeding 450 miles, (3) a no-holds-barred cage match to the death.
• Article 136: When interrogated by a girlfriend about a bachelor party, a Bro shall offer nothing more than an uninterested “It was okay”
• Article 137: When hosting, a Bro orders enough pizza for all his Bros
• Article 138: A real Bro doesn’t laugh when a guy gets hit in the groin.
  Exception: Unless he doesn’t know the guy.
• Article 139: Regardless of veracity, a Bro never admits familiarity with a Broadway show or musical, despite the fact that, yes, “Broadway” begins with “Bro”
• Article 140: A Bro reserves the right to simply walk away during the first five minutes of a date. (Lemon Law)
• Article 141: A Bro can only get a manicure if he’s trying to sleep with the hot woman performing the manicure
• Article 142: A Bro shall seek no revenge if he passes out around his Bros and wakes up to find marker all over his face.
• Article 143: When executing a high five a bRo is forbidden from intertwining fingers of grasping his Bro’s hand
• Article 144: It is unacceptable for two Bros to share a hotel bed without first exhausting all couch, cot, and pillows-on-floor combinations. If it’s still unavoidable, they shall prevent any incidental spoonage by arm wresting to determine who sleeps under the covers. Once decided each Bro shall don as many lower layers as possible before silently fist bumping the other good night.
• Article 145: A Bro is never offended if another Bro fails to return a phone call, text or email in a timely fashion
• Article 146: A Bro refrains from using too much detail when relating sexual exploits to his Bros
• Article 147: If a Bro sees another Bro get into a fight, he immediately has his Bro’s back
  Exception: If his Bro has picked a fight with a scary looking guy
  Exception: If this is the third fight (or more) his Bro has gotten into that week)
  Exception: If the Bro has a note from a physician excusing him from having anybody’s back
• Article 148: A Bro doesnt listen to chick music…in front of other Bros. When alone, a Bro may listen to, say, a Avril Lavinge album or two, but only to gain valuable insights into the female psyches, not because he finds her melodies tragically haunting yet curiously uplifting at the same time.
• Article 149: A Bro pretends to understand and enjoy cigars
• Article 150: No sex with you Bro’s ex

Bag Full of My Ghosts

Usually people like to refer to things from their past as their ‘Ghosts’. These are usually memories which have continued to haunt them even after some time has gone by. These are memories which refuse to leave and make you re-live the moment in your head all the time. Even after you subdue them to your subconscious, they are still there invisibly disturbing the thought process.

I like every normal human being have had bad and good experiences and cherish and regret bad and good memories. I like to think that I want to and have been living a life of ‘no regrets’ since last year after taking up that motto but I don’t think that is the case. There are certain things that I cannot un-attach myself from. Although it should be noted that when I did decide on making ‘no regrets’ a viable policy for life… based on a certain incident/situation that was there or rather prevailed at that time… it worked wonders for that particular incident/situation. I’ve no regrets for that. But there are other things which have happened since then… are continuing to happen, which I can’t let go of. They continue to bother me. For me my ghosts are not just incidents or events from the past. They are not just old memories. They are also very much from the present living time.

It has now gotten to a point where I am becoming flustered and frustrated with the entire scheme of things. Being reasonable with myself won’t be a regular feature in forthcoming months I feel. I am just hoping that somehow this coming season just passes by and life can move on.

But it is after all just a mere hope. It floats. But I don’t know till when. My external and internal worlds start to collide and conspire both at the same time. Imagine what that must be like? Place your head in between a cactus and a needle. It pinches, it pokes, it induces pain like nothing else but its own very special kind.

Congratulations Pakistan – T20 World Champions 2009

“Pakistan’s rise from rank outsiders to champions is an extraordinary display for a team that had to beat Netherlands by a significant margin to even stay in the event during the group stages. However, they have peaked at the right time and couldn’t have produced a more complete performance for a final. They fell five runs short two years ago at Johannesburg, but this time there was no mistake.”
      – Cricinfo /  http://www.cricinfo.com/wt202009/content/current/story/410042.html

Pakistan, rank outsiders at the beginning of the tournament. The team with a rusty handle on things and just not enough spirit and zeal. The team that was criticized from all corners (Myself included). The team that had the Champions Trophy and then the World Cup hosting rights taken away from it following troubled security issues, terrorism, attacks etc in the country. The team within the major teams with the least amount of international cricket under its buckle in the last year and a half. We were the team that won the T20 World Cup 2009. We won it on the backs of the match winning performances of Shahid Afridi, Umar Gul, Saeed Ajmal etc. We weren’t all great. But we persevered.  

As a nation, we needed this more then anyone else. Pakistan needed a victory. The country needed a win. As Younis Khan put it:

“This is a gift for the Pakistan Nation”

And what a gift it is. Amid turmoil and problems… the nation finally has something to celebrate. The headlines tomorrow won’t just be of Swat, of Taleban, of the economic issues and the usual serving of sadness. Tomorrow and maybe even day after… it will all be the champions that we are.

The Final was all set up. Again an all Asian final like the last edition which also had Pakistan, that time against its arch rivals India.  It was a perfect day it at Lords. Sun shining bright. A good track for competitive cricket. Passion on both sides. Players ready to go. But the match wasn’t as much of a firecracker as one would have expected it to be. There wasn’t a blitz nor a constant thundering from any bat. It was actually a bowlers final.

Sri Lanka, undefeated throughout the tournament. Dilshan, the leading run scorer with a impressive and dazzling 95 off 57 balls innings in the semi-final which destroyed the West Indies, was ready to face Pakistan and continue from where he had left off. But Pakistan had other things in mind.

Aamir bowled to the set plan. No width, no room for driving the ball, keep it short. Keep it uncomfortable. The first ball flew by Dilshan’s nose. And the rest were also short. And the dividends were paid in the very first over only. Dilshan went for a duck. What followed was dominance by Pakistan’s bowlers spearheaded by Razzaq’s experience which got us 3 early and important wickets, over the Lankan batsmen. Apart from the last 5 overs, only Sangakkara (Playing a captain’s knock) the other batsmen struggled for runs or to keep their wicket. The last 5 overs of Sri Lanka’s innings was also perhaps the only part of the match when the Lankans were on top of Pakistan, making 59 runs off them.

With 138 on the board, Sangakkara would have been happy about an innings they finished better after Pakistan’s fiery start. It was a competitive total, one very much within the bounds of the Lankan attack of defending. Especially given Pakistan’s track record for chasing. But this was a day a different Pakistani batting line up came out. One which was more sensible and one which did not lose its head rashly. Akmal and Shahzaib gave Pakistan a steady start even if it wasn’t a quick or racy one. It was one in which runs were on board and wickets were in hand. After the dismissal of Akmal & Shahzaib, Afridi and Malik put on the final runs on the board. Their partnership steered Pakistan to the victory. Well Afridi did really with good support from Malik. It was once again Boom Boom Afridi’s sensible batting ego which showed up to bat. It was another brilliant 50 knock from the charismatic all-rounder. He was calm. He hit his first boundary after nudging around for 19. And it was a sensible and calculated one as well. A six to Murali followed by a four to reduce the gap between runs required and balls left. 2 – 3 overs later when once again it seemed like the pressure was building, Boom Boom dispatched Urdana for a huge six and a four of the very next ball. I firmly believe that more than any other member of the Pakistan team, this has been Afridi’s tournament for redeeming himself (as a batsmen and an all-rounder) and further stamping his fantastic credentials as a dangerous leg-spinner. The semi-final was Afridi’s day. And so was the final. The two most important matches for Pakistan in the T20. BOOM BOOM showed up for work!                                          

“The winning moment felt almost anticlimactic – if such a thing was possible in so fevered an atmosphere. Afridi sized up a slap through midwicket but the ball merely trickled off his pads. No matter, the run was in the book and the trophy was in the bag, with an over and two balls to spare. What followed was glorious, as Afridi first checked that Udana’s lbw appeal had not been upheld, and then, with legs akimbo and a triumphant hoist of the arms, he stood in his crease and lapped up the acclaim. He knew that his team would not be far behind, and sure enough, out they hurtled from the dug-out, to acclaim the man who had steered them back from exile and right onto centre stage.”
               - Cricinfo / http://www.cricinfo.com/wt202009/content/current/story/410089.html

Some of the positives from this tournament: Younis Khan on some fine captaincy , Shahid Khan Afridi for his absolute consistency with the ball and timely heroics with the bat proving that Pakistan cricket needs him, Saeed Ajmal for magnificent off-spin bowling, Umar Gul for the non-stop toe crushing and runs cramping spells of yorkers and of course the world record 5 wicket haul against the Kiwis, Razzaq who came back from a 2 year exile and directly onto such a big stage for bringing back the balance to our team. M. Aamir and Shahzaib are good finds. They need to be groomed properly for they will be assets for the future of Pakistan Cricket.

I would like to end this blog by congratulation the Pakistan Team and the nation – our nation which is going through so much right now and how we all needed this win.

I would also like to thank the Kiwis for always bringing out the best in us during these World Cup encounters (both T20 & ODIs format) !